The Retold Greek Myths | ✓

Arachne and Athena's Weaving Adventures

Athena somehow found out that I was writing this, and she asked (see also: demanded) that this story be put into this book. She's getting real tired of people calling her evil and heartless and stuff because of this myth since people keep getting the ending wrong, and also because Ovid's writing just... wasn't too accurate.

By the way, while I'm on the topic, Ovid's mythology is... well, it's debatable. He gets some stuff right, that's for sure, but other stuff? Not really. He was Roman, first of all, and secondly, he wrote Metamorphoses a few thousand years after the events had happened. Then again, he's also a rather good source to study from, because his works are some of the only surviving accurate recounts of several famous myths. So honestly? My advice is just to take everybody's work with a grain of salt.

Anyway, since Ovid's writing is the only source on Arachne and Athena, I had to raid Olympus' library for this, so I hope you appreciate it. I also had to ask Athena and Apollo if I could borrow their books (by the way, if you ever go to Olympus, please visit their libraries. I'm telling you, they're literally the most beautiful libraries ever) for this, and they are very protective with their books. I had to make a bunch of oaths on how I'd promise that I'd protect it with my life and I would sacrifice myself if it meant keeping them safe and blah blah blah. I stopped listening after a while.

Wait, what was I talking about?

Oh, right. Arachne and Athena.

Honestly, it's hilarious how bad the gods are with time, because both Apollo and Athena have no idea when this happened. They don't even remember the millenia they were born in, though, so I guess it's not that surprising, but come on. Anyway, they're both pretty sure this happened somewhere around the Bronze Age, which is way better than Apollo's memory with Persephone which was, like, ten ages back to back.

My advice? Try not to think too deeply about Greek mythology. The timeline is wack and it'll make you want to cry.

Anyway, so Arachne's, like, super good at weaving or whatever. Not sure if it was limited to only tapestries or if she did clothes too, but anyway, yeah, she was just hecka good. She was just the daughter of a shepherd, but she became so good that people went to her from everywhere, so she became rich in the end anyway.

So Arachne's thing was pride. I swear to the gods, everybody seems to apparently have pride problems. Anyway, she just thought she was the best weaver in the world and whatever, and soon, she started thinking that she was better than the gods.

Kids, just know this—DON'T DO THAT. It's a very bad idea. I feel like people should've learned that by now but apparently they don't, which is just so aggravating. Like, do you want to die? I mean, if you've got a test coming up, then probably, but then again, gods don't always kill you. They might kill your friend, or your family, or some random person on the street. They're unpredictable that way.

Anyway, Arachne, one day, was just bragging about how good she was at weaving and someone asked if she learned from Athena herself. Arachne did not, but for some reason, she was offended.

"Dude!" she cried. "Why would you think that? My work is, like, way better than Athena's. I can't believe you said my weaving sucked!"

Obviously she wasn't being serious, but Athena was watching, and she was all, "Gurl, she did not just say that."

So Athena, being Athena, decided to go and just investigate further. Arachne's suddenly getting swarmed by a bunch of people screaming for her autograph or whatever and asking her about her weaving and she's just like, When did this become a press event? I would've warned my better dress, which she may or may not have woven herself but I don't know. Anyway, Athena was just in the back dressed like an old woman and just thinking, the nerve of this woman!