Hidden (TW: abuse)

Sunshine

♥︎𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗺𝘆 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗶 𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗶𝘁♥︎

Rowan had woke with the sun shining in her face like always, it is usually accompanied with the noise of her mother yelling about how much of a disgrace she is, at This point all of rowans self confidence was gone. Her mother was still trying the deteriorate something that was barely there in the first place. Rowan was woken up from her morning day dream by the sound of her front door being unlocked. She jumped out of bed and rushed her morning routine, which didn't include much of anything since it was usually rushed.

She ran downstairs to greet her mother trying not to show how tired she really was, "Good morning mother" Rowan says with a fake smile. Her mother caught on quickly to the fake act and says "don't act all sweet, like you didn't steal my drink last night" she stated with a raspy and mean voice. Her mother sometimes blamed her for things she didn't do, Rowan sometimes wonder if her mother actually believed her daughter did such things or if she just needed a reason to be mad at her, either way she was delusional.

On Rowans way to school she saw the flower she had planted at the beginning of the school.
She convinced herself that things would get better if she looked for the beauty in things.
She thought that she could see something beautiful every day a few moments after she wakes, she would be reminded.
Rowan could spend the whole day tending to the flower but she knew she had a life to live, one that didn't revolve around a flower.

As Rowan walked towards the school she prepared herself for a day of having to look her old best friend in the eyes as she made fun of her and, constantly be reminded she was betrayed by the only thing she ever cared about after her fathers death. She was brought back the earth when she caught herself beginning to think negatively. She tried to focus her thoughts on the warm sunlight that  kissed against her skin and how the very sunlight that touched her skin this very morning was the same sunlight that grew her beautiful flower that brought her joy every morning.

During her first period, she tried not to make eye contact with anyone. She couldn't bare the look of disgust and disappointment, it reminded her of how her mother looked at her.
The day went by smoothly, until lunch Rowan new that her old best friend was going to say something to her, since that's how it had been since the beginning of 8th grade. Rowan doesn't even really know why her best friend Maggie decided to not be her friend anymore. it just kinda happened over the summer, And once it was school time again Maggie was friends with the popular kids she even had a boyfriend, -Rowan was shocked when she saw Maggie walk in with the popular girl on the first day of 8th grade,-Rowan eventually got over it and they are now in 10th grade so they are much older than before yet Maggie and her friends still act like children.

Rowan was eating her food when she felt a cold liquid pour down her spine, she screamed in disgust and turned around quickly. Of course Madeline Ghoslin, probably just trying to prove a point to her mean friends, Rowan look at Maggie with pain in her eyes and she could tell Maggie felt bad, but she would do anything to prove that she was cool to her fairly new friends. Rowan ran out of the lunch room crying, she knew she was causing a scene but in this moment she didn't care.

When Rowan came out of the bathroom stall she saw Maggie standing outside the door with guilt in her eyes. Rowan wanted to ignore her so bad but she couldn't when she felt the warm embrace of Maggie hug wrap around her. During this hug Rowan had realized how long it had actually been since she had received a genuine hug, of this hug wasn't genuine Rowan knew it was only because of guilt and it would make Maggie feel better once it was over with, but Rowan would gain nothing. Her mom sometimes gave her hugs like these when she felt bad about her self, but a few moments later she would go back to being her same old self. Rowan was sure Maggie was doing the same thing. Once Maggie let go Rowan gave her a sweet, but fake smile and she knew Maggie could tell. She heard Maggie try to mutter out words but Rowan just gave her a pat on the back and walked off. She wasn't about to forgive Madeline after all she's put her through.

She later saw Maggie and class looking at Rowan with sorrow. Rowan hated that look so she turned away. And focused on a butterfly flying close to the classroom window.

At the end of class Rowan was thinking about how she found that focusing on the beauty of the world did make her happy. But people on the other hand, you can only give them so many chances. Some people just have no beauty to focus on, and sometimes the thing they have could be so beautiful you keep turning your focus til it get to a point where you look the other direction and see their ugly invading their beautiful, and thats when u know its time to leave.
Her daydream broke when she heard the bell ring, she quickly grabbed her things and started walking home.

On her way home she found her self sitting next to the flower imagination all of the things it seem and how life must be to just sit still and observe, she soon found her self imagining a simple fairy-tale life. When she realized it was sundown and she had been late on her way home. She ran as fast as she could when she felt a hand grab her wrist, Rowan turned around and almost broke it when she realized it was Madeline, what does she want she thought to herself
"I know you don't want hear this but I'm really sorry RoRo", Madeline states with a guilty expression on her face. "Don't call me that" Rowan stated sternly. "I know sorry Rowan I don't know what got into me I guess I just lost myself". During that one sentence Rowans realized that this whole time she had being look at the sun shining on Madeline, but now the sunlight surrounding her was no where to be found. It was just Madeline, it was up to Rowan to decide to focus on the pretty or delete it.

"What are u sorry for Madeline, are you sorry for pouring milk down my back when you KNOW I don't have much clothes at home, are you sorry for the constant bulling everytime I went to school because of some stupid rumor you spread-" Rowan got cut off.

"I'm sorry for all of it-" She got cut off

"No..it's my turn to talk Madeline I've spent my life fighting I've been silently watching you play miss popular while I put on a face so I wouldn't show how hurt I was..do you know how it felt to the only person you EVER cared about get ripped from you because she wanted to be "cool" god Madeline, you should be sorry for a lot of things but not being my friend..you saved me from that one." Rowan stated with anger and pain in her voice. She walked away feeling a burden lifted off her shoulders but soon realized what she would have to deal with at home.