regrets and slit wrists

...

I cant take back my mistake.

I see it everyday i look in the mirror.

As i put on a clothes.

Brush my teeth even my contacts in my eyes.

Walking around school seeing what other girls are likes, seeing what normal could have been like for me.

But not anymore....

I chose this i chose it all

The parania the fear the pain and anger..

When i flinch, whenever i bite my lip..cover my arms...its the memores buring my mind apart...theh think im exhausted from school when really its from my mind trying to convince me im worth the oxygen i take in and exhale...the food that i inhale and the luxuries i overuse..that i deserve fresh wrists, face moisturized not from tears..but they never know...when you look in my eyes can't you see the help im calling out as im clutching your waist trying not to end it..all? Cant you see the desperation for a normal life? Whenever i laugh when nothing funny was said?

They dont see

They dont hear it

Im a shadow in crowd that'll end up dead in her bed with her best clothes on and pearls strung around her neck with her sucicide letter neatly typed next to me...