My Life Is A Mess

Part Six - Prom Planning And Penultimate Goodbyes

Patrick is head boy here at college. That means he has some pretty big responsibilities. He has to organise Valedictory, speak at said Valedictory, and also organise Prom. There's one day left before Valedictory so that's, mostly, sorted out. Prom on the other hand... he's not even started to organise yet. He did a letter than the college sent out, asking for funds, but that's it. So, naturally, when I got into school today, Patrick was sat by a computer: stressed as anything.

I went over and sat by him. This was my first and biggest mistake of the day. I was now involved in the Prom planning. "Sam! Thank god, I need some help." I sighed but offered my assistance. "Great. Well, Olivia is already working on the tables, so could you try and figure out the entertainment line-up?"
"Entertainment line-up?" I asked. I didn't realise we had the budget for something so fancy sounding. "Yeah. Some students are singing. There's speeches and the awards." That made so much more sense. I nodded and he handed me a small binder, in comparison to the ones he had. It was still maybe 6 inches thick.

It was 7:56am. I'd come early to chill out. Now I was organising who was going to sing first, where the... the dance troop? I didn't realise we had one of those. Anyway, I was organising the entertainment - that's what I'm saying - and it was hell.

Thankfully, I didn't have a lesson until 1:40pm. Although, I'm sure Patrick could've worked his head boy magic and gotten me out of my lesson to help him. It took me around 3 hours to finish the entertainment line-up but it was done by 10:30am. Then I was handed another job. This time with Olivia.

As I got up to go and help her, I looked back at Patrick. He had the most cunning, proud-of-himself smile on his face. He's done this on purpose. He's give me this job so me and Olivia could spend time together and not talk about Luke. On one hand, that's a very good thing for a friend to do. On the other hand, I can't believe he didn't tell me before so I could prepare myself. But, there's no time now.

"So how was your walk the other day?" We'd been working on the decorations for nearly an hour at this point. We'd decided on a nice, smart, gold and white theme. We were just starting to buy things now. As we sat together on the computers, we couldn't help but talk about non-Prom-related things. "It was alright. I like going on walks when I need to clear my mind."
"Why'd you need to clear it on Sunday?" Dammit. I said too much. Time to think of a great lie. "There's a girl I have a crush on," okay, stop. This isn't a good lie. This is the truth, "and I don't know whether I should tell her or not." Fantastic.

"Well, why wouldn't you?" It was only four words but in that moment, I felt something. This was the closest to the old Olivia that I'd seen her in at least 5 months. "It's complicated."
"Complicated?" She smiled and laughed. I love it when she does that. It's just the cutest thing in the world. "Yeah." I laughed back.
"I doubt that. I think someone's just scared to tell a girl how he feels." She wasn't wrong. But she wasn't completely right either. If she wasn't my best friend – if she didn't have a boyfriend – I'd have told her right there and then. I'd have told her everything. "You got me. She's just, like, really really great and way out of my league. I don't know whether or not it's worth it."
"What's the worst that can happen? She says no."
"Actually, she could laugh at me. That happened once. Hurts way more than a simple no. She could also really like me until she realises who it is she's speaking to. Also happened to me. I think you actually know the girl. Oh and she could—" Thankfully, Olivia stopped me there. If she hadn't, I'd have rattled off all my previous 16 rejections. "You'll be fine. As long as she's a nice person, and single, I'd say you have a good chance." She was looking at the computer screen at this point, so she didn't see the disappointed look in my face. She was a nice person, but she wasn't single. Just my luck.

The bell rang, signalling lunch, and on our way to the canteen Eddy let me, Patrick and Olivia know about the mock results that the office was giving out. These are pretty important pieces of paper because whatever grade is written on there is the best guess as to what you're going to get in August, on results day.

We headed downstairs to the office as a trio. Probably for the last time. There was a pretty big queue for the results so we went and grabbed our dinner first. I hadn't had a school dinner since the first day because I wasn't awful keen on the selection available, but today I was starving and a trashy chicken burger and some soggy fries was good enough.

Despite it being as long as the building itself, the queue died down quite quickly. Before we knew it, our food was gone and we were stood at the office door. "Sam Evans."
"Patrick Weatherford."
"Olivia Roberts." We all said our names, one after the other, and waited for the receptionist to give us our results. She flicked through the fairly large pile on her desk and then handed us each an envelope individually. "Thanks." We said in unison before heading back upstairs.

We were sat around, with our envelops in hand. No-one wanted to be first but someone had to. That someone ended up being me after a few more minutes of us avoiding the inevitable. "Huh." They weren't bad. I had expected much worse actually. Especially in psychology. English, I knew I'd get full A's in, but I didn't expect a B in psychology. That caught me off guard. "Huh good or huh bad?" I looked up at Patrick and smiled.
"Good. Definitely good." Next one to open their results was Olivia. She seemed just as happy as I was, if not happier. I think her results were good.

Then came Patrick.

A lot was riding on this. Patrick had been failing chemistry for most of year 13, so he needed a good grade here or he wasn't getting into Oxford – like he wanted. He'd end up doing some apprenticeship we found with a few days left to apply. He needed A's across the board. He opened it slowly and I don't quite know how to describe his expression. It was unlike any I'd seen before. It was happy but sad and there might've been a little anger in their too. It was a weird one. "Yay?" I asked, unsure. His bizarre expression slowly became a smile and I smiled too. "Yeah. I got an A, A, A*." I couldn't have been happier for him. But it was at the same time I realised something.

We stood outside the school gates. This was nearly it. We had a day left. One day and then all this – school, college, the last 7 years – it's all over. It wasn't until Patrick said earlier today his results that I realised I kinda wanted him to fail. I didn't want him to get those A's because I wanted him to stay here and do a course at the local uni, like I was. I know that's awful and I shouldn't want my friend to fail but I don't wanna say goodbye to them either. I know we'll still talk but it's not the same. As much as I've said it is over the past 7 years and used it as an excuse not to go out... it really isn't the same. Nothing'll replace seeing them every day and joking around with them. I'm gonna miss them. I'm gonna miss them a lot and I'm not ready for that.