Chapter 16: Wednesday

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It started to get dark just as we arrived. Brandon's truck pulled up beside us. We went near one of the fires. There were multiple fires spread apart, people were moving around each spot. I saw Kali already sitting near one, the orange reflecting off her shiny hair. She didn't come with Brandon. Weird. I sat down on a log at a different fire than her. Miles and some of his friends headed toward the food table, which looked like a buffet. This Danny guy was impressive. Heather was standing by a nearby tree, she waved at me. I was hoping she would come over and sit with me but it looked like she was surrounded by three guys. Better those three guys than Miles. I didn't expect her to come over anytime soon.

With no one to talk to I took in the scene around me. This reminded me of the Fall Festival we had every September back home. It's a week's worth of bonfires every night, hayrides, apple picking, corn husking, and lots of eating. I took in a deep breath. The Fall Festival. I knew I would miss it. But looking at this field made me miss it more. Miss my mom more.

I looked around for a familiar face, Kali was gone, Heather was cheering on one of the guys climbing a tree, Tyler had a crowd around him and was chugging something and I couldn't see Miles. I was surrounded by strangers.

It hit me fast; I felt alone and homesick.

This feeling had been building up in me for days. I had been entertaining myself constantly so as to not face the fact that I am in a strange new place, with new people. Or maybe this started when my mom texted me this morning. I had to go. I swiftly got up and went to Miles' car. Please be unlocked. I thought as I reached for the car door handle. It was, and I shut the door immediately, muffling the party's music as my eyes filled with tears.

I was so conflicted. I missed home and my moms voice. I wanted to tell her all that had happened, but I was more afraid that she wouldn't approve. So I held back. I had made a new world for myself, but I left behind my old one. I felt so ashamed that I had been lying and avoiding conversations with my mom, and maybe what I hated most was that during the day I'd forget her. As I drowned myself with these thoughts, someone opened the car door, cool air pooling in.

"April?" they asked quietly.
I opened my eyes embarrassed. It was Andre.
He was kneeling out the car door, smiling sympathetically.
"What's wrong?" He asked.
I knew I could tell him how I was feeling, yet I still held back. "I'm just overly tired, I think. Maybe I should go home."
He nodded. "To the dorm? Or like, home, home?"
Good question. As much as I missed mom now, if I went back home, I think I'd miss here too. I had two homes now.
"The dorm." I tried my hardest to smile. "You should go back to the party."
"Okay." He said hesitantly.

Then I was alone again.
Why didn't I talk to Andre? I felt worse after he left. I thought I felt most comfortable with Andre, that he was the one person I could talk to. Now I know that's not true. If one other person had come instead of Andre, I would've told him.
That was the blatant truth. I trusted Miles.

The car door swung open a second time, this time scaring me.
"April!" He said, blaring his flashlight in my face.
"Miles?" I asked, squinting.
"Andre told me you were crying..." Miles turned off the flashlight, sat down on the grass, and looked up at me. I don't think I had ever seen him so serious.
"What's wrong?"
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