Miss Miller

First day

G!p

It was was first day starting as a senior in high school. I wasn't very nervous. I didn't care much. It was so early I hated mornings. I rolled out of bed. Then I put on some clothes. I preferred to dress masculine. But it was hard knowing I always had to cover my scars. To be honest at this point I am used to it. I threw on some dark makeup and went downstairs. Knowing my father wouldn't be home. He was a drunk. Just like my mother. But she left a long time ago. I always wonder why I like older women. I never know if I am attracted to them or just want them to tell me that they are proud of me. But thats just my mommy issues. I try to like girls my age but it never felt right.

I barely ate and when I did I would just vomit. It made me sick even thinking about food. So I just grabbed my bag and left my house. But when I opened my door my father was there. He was drunk of course, even at 7 in the morning. He stumbled in. But before I could slip past him he grabbed my wrist.
"You look like shit. Go change!" He slurred
"No goodbye." You mumbled
"What was that I heard!" He pulled me towards him and held my throat. Then he punched me in the gut a couple times before slapping my face hard. Then he laughed and walked away. I couldn't even cry. There were no more tears left. I were just numb.

I had nothing left in this world anymore. I have tried to give up several times. But I was scared. I started walking and pulled out my small blade from my pocket. I rolled up my sleeve and cut my wrist a few times. It helped me feel control. I saw the blood and quickly covered it knowing I cut a little to deep. I just kept walking. Then I lit a cigarette. I blew out some smoke as I arrived at school.

I walked into last period finally. It was english. I had a hood on. I stomped on my bud before entering.

Thats when I saw her. She had blue eyes. They were like crystals. She was new. Granted the old english teacher mr.Thompson wasn't very good. I despised him. He would give me detention for no reason. Just so he could touch me. It was awful. I never told anyone. Not like they would care. He would leave marks all over my body just like my father. I had just remembered that I may look bad and have bruises. So I cover up some more and kept my head down. i sat in the back. So no one could see. Then the bell rang.

"Hey I am miss. Miller our you can call me Lou I don't really care. Umm lets get started I guess." She bellowed.
Her voice was deep and sexy. I didn't look up once.
"Here I am giving you a short essay to write. It will be about yourselves. It doesn't have to be good. I don't really care. I trust you guys just to tell me something about yourselves."
I looked up for a second then back down. She was wearing leather pants and a button down stripped long sleeve shirt. Her belt was wrapped around her waist loosely. She was beautiful. I cannot believe I am already crushing on my english teacher. What a surprise.

I pulled out a piece of paper and began to write. I had no idea where to start. My life was consumed by drugs and sh. Not to mention my mommy issues and mental illness. I could never share any of that. The only thing I some what enjoyed was skateboarding. I had used it as a way to get around for as long as I could remember. It was the only thing that helped me get away from the world besides cutting. So I decided to write about that. Since it was the only thing that I could share.

I started to write. But then the bell rang. I had only written 2 sentences. I get caught up in my thoughts a lot. She had made her way around and collected everyones paper. They all were out the door. I was last. She walked over and grabbed it. Then leaned down close to my ear.
"Stay for a second." I just nodded. I was melting. Then they were all gone. She sat back at her desk.
"Come here." She urged. I stood up shyly and walked over. I sat at the desk in front of hers. I could feel her eyes one me. They were burning through my head. I looked up to meet her eyes then back down very quickly. I fidgeted with my rings and chains. I used them to cope with my anxiety and stress. And this was very stressful.

"You are a quiet girl." She said but I didn't look up.
"What is your name honey." She said seductively.
"Umm... Y/N."
"Well Y/N. You seemed very distracted today. Is everything alright?" She said in a low tone
I lied and nodded. But I wasn't okay. And I was very much distracted.
"Y/N look at me." She said in a more assertive tone. There was nothing I could do at this point. She was going to see my bruises and I couldn't care less.
I looked into her eyes.
"Oh honey." She gasped when she saw my face. Covered in black and blues. I looked like death. I had dark bags under my eyes. I barely sleep to be honest. Last night I only passed out from blood loss.

She stood up and came over to me. I saw her face. How perfect her jawline was. And her chiseled cheekbones. Her platinum blonde hair. It just fell above her shoulders. My hands started to tremble as she grew closer. Her hips swayed. He bent down next to the desk. I looked in her eyes. She placed her hand on my cheek. Tears started to form in my eyes. I flinched back a little from her touch. I was scared.
"You poor thing. What has the world done to you."

I started shaking more. There was fear in my eyes.
I had always been strong and pushed through the emotion. I am usually the one who is scary. But she makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry. She put her hand on mine. They were soft.
"Don't be scared honey. I will not hurt you." She smiled
A tear rolled down my cheek. Which she quickly wiped away with her thumb. She pulled me in. I felt her chest on mine. I started to cry. I couldn't hold back anymore. She made me feel safe. This was so embarrassing.

"Shhhh its okay." She caressed my back. Sending chills down my spine. Then she stood up which kind of lifted me with her. She never broke the hug once. I cried into her chest. She squeezed me a little tighter.
"Ssssqq ow"
"Did I hurt you?" She asked gently
"I ummm... i am sorry." I looked back down

Then her hand lifted my chin.
"You didn't answer my question."
"Well ummm yeah it hurts a little." I refuse to make eye contact. I don't want to cry again.
"Where honey? Your stomach?"
I nod.

"Can I?" She placed her hand at the bottom of my shirt. I nod again. She slowly lifts it. She gasps. I can feel tears streaming down my face.
"Oh my, I- oh come here." She pulled me back into a gentle hug. After a second I pulled away and wiped my tears.
"Its- its not that bad."
"Has it been worse?"
"Umm yea. Its okay don't worry." I mumble
"No it is not okay. You're coming home with me."
"You really don't have to."
"No you are."

She pulled my hand and walked out the door. She helped me in the car and we left.