Iris

Lighting a candle after you've cleaned the entire house really just seals the deal. You have all the windows open letting the outside in. The curtains are fluttering around. It reminds you of that scene from the original The Great Gatsby. You hear the back door open. Bucky is back from his run. He pulls off his headphones tossing them on to the kitchen counter.

"We should get a dog," he says.

You cover Alpine's ears "You really wanna talk about that here?"

He smirks he looks around and he grabs an apple off the counter and takes a bite "I like what you've done with the place."

"I had to do something." You say while looking at the floor.

It's been months since you've gone back to work. You've always refrained from sharing how you feel because well he has bigger fish to fry.

"Come with me" he reaches out to you.

He guides you upstairs to the bathroom.
"Let's take a bath?" He has your face between his hands, the apple still in his vibranium hand.

The water is running and he's kneeling swirling the bubbles with his hands. Apple in his mouth he reaches for the bottle of soap. You lean against the wall across from him. Watching him be "normal" has become the most beautiful thing to watch. It's soothing to see him be happy. Was this happiness? Was he finally ok?

"I'm going to rinse in the shower so we aren't sitting in my juices," he laughs.

He swears he's so clever, he is but I'll never tell him. You grab your phone, he took it with him on his run. He's never going to get his own. You tap the screen and simply press play. You always know whatever mood he's in by the music he listens to.

*Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls begins to play*

"This is a good song," he says as he opens the shower curtain.

"Tubs ready." You nod in the direction of the perfect bath he drew.

He steps out of the shower into the tub. As he stands in the warm water he reaches out for you."Doll?"

"I still have clothes on, hang on..." before you can say anything more he manages to reach you and pick you up into the tub.

"I won't tell anyone if you don't" he holds you close. Dripping wet he kisses your forehead.
"Just stay with me" his lips still pressed on your forehead.

—

You're sitting between his legs. His chest pressed up against your back. His arms wrapped around you as he hums in your ear. The fact that you're fully clothed hasn't bothered you. You feel so safe, so loved, you're in love with this moment. You fight back tears.
Iris replays again. Tears stream down your face. You realize when he went for a run he had this song on a loop.

"Y/N, you don't have to keep yourself locked away in your head. Your troubles are still heavy. I want you to feel without any guilt." His voice cracks. "I don't know what your feeling but I do understand not wanting to be a burden. You convinced me that I'm not, let me help you feel the same." He kisses the back of your head.

You can hear the pain in his voice. You know he loves you, he knows you both are broken. Why such guilt? You are the first person Bucky ever explained his nightmares to. You saw his vulnerability. Why are you doing this to him?

"I just... started replaying our last mission in my head and I couldn't stop." You pull away from him.

You remember you almost lost him, a simple mistake almost cost everything.

"Y/N, you can't blame yourself for that. We had bad intel. I would never leave you." He reaches for your face. He looks you in the eye. The world around you is gone and it's just you and him.

He starts to softly sing, "And I don't want the world to see me 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand, When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am"

You look at him, this is the first song outside of any music he grew up listening to that he knew.

"This is my song for you, I don't feel out of place with you. I don't feel like a monster. All I feel is love and I want the same for you. We are going to have bad days but we will always have each other. What you have done for me I will live the rest of my life thanking you for it." he says softly.

You rest back into his arms.

"Maybe we can rescue a dog? I think I already have a name in mind" you say as you tilt your head toward him

He smiles at you, without hesitation he says,
"Iris."