edgars a survivor

10 1 4

by kaylana18

by kaylana18

Once upon a time there was a girl named "Edgar" she had the best cut of all Edgar's. She decided to go get in her helicopter and go to the beach with some friends named Jessica,chad, Emma and Loren. "Get in chad or I'll chop of your pinky toe" says Edgar. Then Jessica and all the others get in as well.
So they're on there way to the beach when all of a sudden the helicopter pulls a Kobe Bryant and breaks down with all the people in it . "HOLD ON TIGHT YALL I CANT DIE BEING A VIRGIN" says Chad. LUCKLY the helicopter landed in the middle of a rain forest. All of them survived the crash besides the virgin Chad.
So they get out of the helicopter and they decide to explore a little bit to learn more about where they are, until all of a sudden a goat with a human head pops out of no where and says "wassup bitches" everybody laughed until all of a sudden this strange goat pulled out a machete out of his left ear. "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!!! TELL MY MOMMY I LOVE HER" JESSICA SAYS LOUDLY. They all try to grab something to defend them selves with but then all of a sudden the goats starts running at them so they have no time. BUT AFTER RUNNING FOR ABOUT A HOUR THEY FINALLY LOST THAT STRANGE ANIMAL.
It's now currently 4:00 in the morning and they're gathering materials so they can try to make a place to stay for a little, so they gather a bunch of sticks and just anything they can find . UNTIL A HUGE MOUNTAIN LION SHOWS UP "OH OH I WANNA PET IT" SAYS LOREN. so Loren went to go up and pet it but then got eaten up alive in front of Jessica,Emma,and Edgar . Then the lion destroys their whole little house they made with all the material they could find then next thing you know the lion faster than flash runs away. "IM OUT YALL ARE DUMB" says Jessica . So then Jessica was never seen again.
"I guess it's just me and you " says Edgar to Emma . But then all of a sudden a sexy cave man jumps out of a very tall tree. It was love at first sight . "Hey I'm joe" says the sexy cave man. "Hey call me Edgar" says Edgar. " BYE I DON'T WANNA DEAL WITH YOU LOVE BIRDS!!" says Emma . She runs away . Emma was never seen EVER AGAIN. Joe shows Edgar his HUGE cave. THEY BUILD A LIFE WITH EACH OTHER BUT THEN FIGHT TO SURVIVE . "I LOVE YOU MILADY" SAYS JOE. "OH STAWP IT MY LITTLE DISCORD KITTEN I LOVE YOU TOO" SAYS EDGAR.
THEY RUN OFF AND TRY TO FIND HELP. WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN JOE BIDEN COMES OUT OF NO WHERE AND SAYS "GET IN MY VAN, I HAVE CANDY" SO THEY RUN INTO HIS VAN "Where's the candy?" Says Joe. " THERE IS NO CANDY LITTLE SUSSY BAKAS" SAYS THE PRESIDENT. JOE BIDEN GETS OUT OF THE CAR THEN RIGHT AS HE GETS OUT OF THE CAR JOE AND EDGAR GO RUNNING AND FOUND HELP . THEY LIVED A HAPPILY EVER AFTER AND THEY REALIZED THAT THEY ARE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER. JOE BIDEN GOT ARRESTED..and Chad, Emma, and Loren were never seen ever again . we will forever miss you . r.I.p that pussy ayyy.