k so basically y were walking around liyue one day and u saw dis sexy a ass man with long ass brown hair . u were all like "holy shitbags ur hot wanna go have fuck in one of those boats over there" and he said "wtf."
so like despite saying wtf he picked u up and walked over to the big ass pirate ship thing in the harbor and found an empty room
yea
anyways u guys had seggs like fourteen times and when he nutted it crystallized and made rock candy😍 u ate it
i'm so sorry yiu had to read this
someday when i'm not exhausted and overtired and fucking stoned i'll write an actual zhongli fanfic bc those r the things that get me thru my days
