A man trying to understand the nature of God and asked him: "God, how long is a million years to you?"
God answered: " A million years is like a minute."
Then the man asked: "God, how much is a million dollars to you?"
And God replied: "A million dollars is like a penny."
Finally the man asked: "God, could you give me a penny?" And God said, "In a minute."
Rating 1-10 1 being bad: 5
A girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seated side by side on an airplane. The girl from
Texas, being friendly and all, said: "So, where y'all from?" The New York girl said, "From a place
where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence." The girl from Texas
sat quietly for a few moments and then replied: "So, where y'all from, bitch?"
Rating1-10 1 being bad:6
It was the first day of Grade Three in a new town for Johnny. As a test, his teacher went around the
room and asked each of the students to count to 50. Some did very well, counting as high as 30
or 40 with just a few mistakes. Others couldn't get past 20. Johnny, however, did extremely well;
he counted past 50, right up to 100 without any mistakes. He was so excited that he ran home
and told his Dad how well he had done. His Dad nodded and told him, "That's because you are
from Alabama, son." The next day, in language class, the teacher asked the students to recite the
alphabet. It's Grade Three, so most could make it half way through without much trouble. Some
made it to S or T, but Johnny rattled off the alphabet perfectly right to the end. That evening,
Johnny once again bragged to his Dad about his prowess in his new school. His Dad, knowingly,
explained to him, "That's because you are from Alabama, son." The next day, after Physical
Education, the boys were taking showers. Johnny noted that, compared to the other boys in his
grade, he seemed overly "well endowed". This confused him. That night he told his Dad. "Dad,
they all have little tiny ones, but mine is ten times bigger than theirs. Is that because I'm from
Alabama?" he asked. "No, son," explained his Dad, "That's because you're 18."
Rating 1-10 1 being bad:7
In the Hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where
their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in
looking tired and somber.
"I'm afraid I am the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed
the worried faces, "The only hope left for your loved one at this
time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure,
semi-risky, and you will have to pay for the brain yourselves."
The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a
length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain
cost?" The Doctor quickly responded, "$5000 for a male brain, and
$200 for a female brain."
The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile,
avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. A
man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question
everyone wanted to ask, "Why is the male brain so much more?"
The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and then to the
entire group said, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have
to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've been
used."
