As Cold As Ice // Charlie Gillespie

Chapter 39

"What?" I can't say more. I'm too surprised by his reaction. I would have expected an apology or that he denies it but that he tries blaming it on Charlie? I certainly didn't expect that. "If he would have never showed up..." Lukas voice is calmer again but I'm still furious. "Then what?" - "I could have been the one." I shake my head weakly. "No you wouldn't have." My voice is quiet and calm now. I don't want to attract any attention of the few people around us. "Why?" Are we really having this conversation right now? "Because, Lukas, I don't like you like that. Frankly, I don't like you in any way." For a moment I wonder if it was wrong to add the last sentence but I need him to understand.

"You don't know me. You never gave me a chance." - "You never tried to get one either." I leave out the part of not wanting to know him after what he did to me. I think that gives me a pretty good idea of who he is anyway. "I asked you to go to the party of me." The sound of his voice has completely changed. He sounds defeated. Like he's slowly realizing he lost. "Yeah, you asked me out after you knew I was interested in Charlie. You told him to leave me alone in New York so you clearly knew. But before he was around you never asked me." - "What would you have said if I did?" - "What does it matter now?" I'm not trying to stall because I don't mind telling him I would have said no. I honestly think it doesn't matter. "It does to me." - "Fine, I would have said no."

I feel like this is the final push he needs. I can see his brain trying to work around what I just said. "I would have never had a chance." He doesn't ask me, he knows it but I still say "No, you wouldn't have." I almost feel bad for him because somehow, in his twisted way of thinking, he thought if it wasn't for Charlie there would have been a chance of him and I getting together. I try pushing back my chair, which is hard while trying to not strain my ankle. "Where are you going?" Lukas seems genuinely confused. "Home. I think there's nothing else to say." I finally succeed in pushing back my chair but before I can get up he says "Wait." So I look at him expectantly. "What are you gonna do now? About what happened with Kaylie?" His voice sounds careful. I think he finally understood he messed up. "I don't know." It's the truth. Since Sarah told me all I thought about was that I have to talk to Lukas but now that I did I don't know what I'll do next. "Well, I don't know if it makes a difference but I never wanted this to happen." At the last part he looks down at my ankle. "But it did happen" I say before I get up and head out of the café.

"Are you ok?" Charlie looks at me carefully when I hop into the car. I nod slightly. "Can we go somewhere nice? It's out last afternoon together." Charlie smiles at me and leans over to kiss my cheek. "Where do you wanna go?" For a moment I don't know. What's meaningful enough to be a good spot for one last memory before Charlie has to leave? "Actually, can we go home and watch a movie?" Right now all I want is to curl up in Charlie's arms. "Sure" he says before he starts driving. While we're driving I can't take my eyes off Charlie. Damn, I'll really miss him. I've grown so used to having him around. I like having him around. I feel good when he's with me.

We get home way too quickly. I could have continued staring at him for a little while longer, trying to burn every little piece of him into my brain. When we get inside there's a note on the counter together with 30$. Dad and I went to the movies. Order whatever you want and have a fun night. I turn around to Charlie. With a smile on my lips I say "Guess it's just you and me tonight." The smirk that appears on his lips as I say that makes my legs turn into pudding and my heart skip a beat. Slowly, Charlie steps towards me and my pulse starts racing. Softly, he wraps his arms around my waist and, painfully slowly, lowers his head until his lips touch mine. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer. I wish he would never ever stop kissing me but eventually he does. "What about the movie?" The trace of desire in his voice sends shivers down my spine and clouds my brain but I manage to nod somehow.

Out of nowhere Charlie picks me up and throws me over his shoulder. I let out a squeak before I start giggling. As if I'm light as a feather he carries me over to the movie room and carefully puts me down on one of the chairs. "I could get used to that kind of transport." As I look around, I realize it's not the movie room, it's my room and I'm not sitting on a chair, I'm sitting on my bed. Charlie looks at me through dark eyes as he says "I could get used to something else." Before I can respond in any way his lips are on mine again. Slowly, he pushes me down on my bed not interrupting our kiss for a second. My whole body is on fire and it feels like I feel every touch of Charlie's body on mine extra intensely right now. "We can stop at any time." Charlie is just as out of breath as I feel. "I don't want to stop" I manage to say before I pull him back down into a kiss.