almost everyone is so grateful for their dad. but i'm not one of those people. i might have been, maybe when i was a lot younger, but not anymore. not after the things that's happened over the years. am i a shitty person or selfish for not feeling that way about him? i honestly don't care. sometimes i wish he wasn't in my life, or i had a new dad. i'm so excited for the day i can get away. is that wrong? it's probably wrong i feel like that. a lot of people would do anything to have dads, to meet them, to know them. i couldn't be further from that. he makes me feel so damn worthless a lot. makes me feel like i'm just a fucking disappointment to him. hell, i can't stand to be around him for long!!! i can be so happy, then all of a sudden memories of the things he's done with hit me like a wave. i'll go from smiling and laughing to bawling in a second. i hate it. i want to forget all of it. i'm trying to, but it's like it just won't let me! ugh!! i don't even know what to do anymore. i'm just sick of it. i can be having the best time of my life, then my world will be crashing down. just because of memories of him throwing things, or screaming like he does. i'm scared of him. i usually hide away in my room because it's that bad. i'm struggling to cope with life anymore. i can't keep doing this. i really can't. i'm basically at my wits end.
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What It's Like In My Mind
Kısa HikayeA collection of poems/stories I wrote of what it's like in my mind. It may not be for everyone, it includes mentions of suicide, swearing, and mentions of my trauma.
