She Died

The story

"Ate, Moon died."

I received this bad news early in the morning after I woke up. All the dreams and possible good memories that we are going to make were all crushed.

"Are you sure about this? Maybe you are trolling me again."

"Yes. I am not ."

"Where is she?"

"She was near the ginger plant."

I shouted, calling and begging her to wake up. I hate to say that I am hoping that she was just buried alive and miraculously alive. I dig around the possible areas where they buried her.

"Moon, please wake up!"

"I know you are alive. Please do not do this to me."

Despite, I shout or even dig to her grave, it cannot erase the fact that she already died. I cannot do anything about that anymore. Should I accept that she already died?

When she came to our house, we already noticed something was wrong with her. She cannot eat solid food. She appears to be a bit weak and could only eat or drink milk. She was too small for two months, as it was claimed by the breeder. I know something is wrong but I ignored it as I thought it was normal because she was still a "baby".

However, my aunt shouted, "Will she be able to survive? She was just so small."

We do not mind as everybody thinks that it is normal. We started feeding Moon with dry cat food. However, she did not eat it. She only drinks milk and canned food. She despised staying in her cage, wanting to walk and tour around the house. She was so small and afraid that she might get lost and escape the house. I was supposed to study at that time, but instead, I took care of her. She loves that front yard of the house.

The next day, we could see that she was very picky about the food that she eats. She prefers to eat wet pocket food than the dry food that they have brought to her. It was a struggle to feed her as well will take a lot of effort.

She was not using her cage anymore, a box that we have here in the house. Typically, she should know how to poop or pee in the right place. However, she did it in the box. When we woke up, we saw her sleeping on her body. She was a bit smelly and her food and water were already dirty. We need to clean it so her place would not be smelly anymore. The worst was she pee and poop on the floor.

But what I can see is, she was a bit of a happy cat despite what I have observed. She was able to play, but everyone was glad when she walked around the house, at least making a noise to get our attention and sit with us. The funniest thing that she ever did is when she randomly shakes both of her legs despite the floor being dry.

She spends most of the time sleeping all day and only wakes up if she needs to drink milk, eat food, and defecate. However, two days later, she was having a hard time eating food and drinking milk. When she does not drink her milk during her third day, we decided to force her to drink the milk with vitamins. We used that syringe to feed her the milk. It was hard to see as she struggled to drink the milk to the point she tried to escape or sleep while we were held by my sister or my aunt. Little by little, she becomes fragile faster than expected. I was afraid that if I touched her and made a mistake, she might die in my hand. All I could do to her is to look at her from afar, smiling and winking.

I am telling my sister to bring her to the vet but we do not have any money to cover the expenses if she has to stay there. All the changes happening to Moon were just usual to her age until the unexpected had happened. My aunt woke up and saw Moon was struggling to breathe. Her body was becoming weak even though she was fighting to live. However, my aunt knows that she will not make it. She was given a last cuddle and died.

I was crying as I cannot accept the fact that she died. She was too young to die. We are still starting to make good memories with her. For us, it was very devastating. She only stayed with us for four days after we got her to the breeder. My aunt recounted what had happened to her earlier. My sister and I cried hard.

I was supposed to study and prepare for my exam next week. However, because of this, I cannot do the things that I was supposed to do. I just cried and cried, and cried... until a question popped up.

"Have we done something wrong?"

"Did she die because of us?"

"Or something went wrong ever before she came with us?"

As it turns out, it was a partial yes. When my father and sister took Moon from her breeders, she was not brought to the veterinarian. Hence, we are also responsible for her early demise.

Until she told us these facts that made her untimely death make more sense.

The caretaker told my sister and father that she was a picky eater. Her siblings were the ones that could drink more and drink milk to their mom than her. She saw that Moon, along with her mother and her brothers, were living in an untidy area, wet floor and filled with other animals.

She told us that our father had a conversation with the caretaker. He asked them why all of them, Moon, and her siblings, obviously lost weight. The caretaker told him there was nothing wrong and denied that they had lost weight. But later, he confessed to him that they have eaten raw meat, which is not allowed to Moon and her brother.

I am convinced that Moon was healthy if she was not neglected by those people. She becomes ill as they think that her lack of appetite was not unusual. She was not taken care of by these people. They only cared about the money that they may get if they sell the cats. They also deceived us about her actual age as it was told that she was a two-month-old cat, but actually, she was a month-old cat. They are the ones who killed her indirectly because of their negligence. They did not care about us, the people who adopted her, as we are the ones who suffered from this.

We cannot do anything to bring back the time and at least save her life. It was already too late to regret everything that had happened to her. All that we can do is to move on and continue life. Life will never stop even when she dies. We have to continue, no matter how painful and sad it is.

My sister decided to talk to more responsible breeders on the internet to find another cat to replace Moon. Meanwhile, I have no choice but to study. However, instead of preparing for my exam next week, I do my assignment in my Saturday class just to calm myself.

She was already gone. We cannot bring her back into this world again. But the short moments that we have with the Moon will never be forgotten and will be remembered forever. Once the new cats arrive in the house, our shortcomings and mistakes will serve as a lesson to us and take care of them even more. The thing that we could do right now is to forgive ourselves and restart again.