The Difference Between Fear and Terror

Untitled Part 32

1 week later

Normally the boys wouldn’t leave me alone like this. Not before I was taken. They have started to accept my self-imposed isolation. I have had a few short conversations with them, a few with Dr. Setters, but nothing more.

When I was with my mother, a bedroom was prison, now it is liberation. It allows me to hide my problems.

There is a knock on the door. “Miss Soren- Sang, may I come in?” Mr. Blackbourne. Joy. As much as I like him I don’t like that he sees straight through me. He deserves the bliss of ignorance.

I take a breath in preparation and put on my mask of happiness before responding. “Come in.” He looks as flawless as usual. That is part of the problem. How could someone as perfect as him want to be around someone as flawed as me?

I scoot up on the bed, pulling my legs to my chest. It gives him room to sit, which he takes.

“How are you?” Time to lie, my greatest talent. Not. “I’m okay. You?” He seems dissatisfied with my response. Of course he is. He could tell that it was a complete and utter lie. I am anything but okay. A dead person is more okay than I am. “I’m doing just fine, thank you.”

“Would you like to stay at my house tonight? You haven’t been out of here in a while.” He rubs the back of his neck, feeling awkward. I look at the clock. It was just about eight. Nathan had made me dinner a couple of hours ago.

  I don’t have any sort of desire to go to his house, but I agree. He looks so… what’s the word? Fragile? As I hesitate in answering. I never want to hurt any of them. “Let me just pack an overnight bag.”

“No need, Gabriel bought you a few new things that are at my home.” I stand up as he does and he guides me out to his car.

He, like the rest of the boys, allows me to remain in silence. It saves me from having to attempt conversation. I have learned that my voice gives more away than my expression. I still stutter, and it reveals what I would rather keep hidden.