" oh you can't hear me cry see my dreams all die "
You and Sammy were at a rough point in your guy's relationship, meaning he was becoming distant. Every night you'd be in your shared home alone, and Sammy would be " out ". His excuse was that he would be out with the boys, or in the studio, but he has said that so much to you, that you knew he was lying. You wanted to give up. Give up on the relationship. Give up on him. Even around 2 in the morning, he still wouldn't be home, but you'd be wide awake. Crying. You cried because you knew that the boy you fell in love with, was no longer with you.
" It's so quiet here and I feel so cold. This house no longer, feels like home "
You layed in bed alone, you know, the usual now. You turned on your side looking at the empty space next to you, putting your hand over the space, you felt the coolness of the sheets. A tear slowly slipped down your cheek. Where has he been, you thought to yourself. You felt alone, tired, lost, and unloved. At this point, you felt like giving up, leaving him, this house no longer felt like home to you. With those thoughts left in your head, you closed your eyes and let everything else disappear.
" oh when you told me you'd leave, I felt like I couldn't breathe, my aching body fell to the floor "
Days passed. Nothing changed. Sammy would text you that he'd be gone, and it was no surprise to you. But hours had gone by. One after the other. You couldn't take it anymore. You ran upstairs to the bathroom, opened the cabinet and grabbed the blade. It was too much for you. Your heart ached for Sammy, but he was never there. You started to cut. Deep into your wrists. Blood dripped down on the floor. You cried out in pain. And with that, everything started going black, and you slowly fell to the floor.
You wake up to find yourself in Sammy's arms. You slowly look up at him and his eyes are red and puffy. Why was he here you thought. He came home early to grab some clothes for a " trip " but ended up finding you laying unconscious on the bloody floor.
" Y/N baby, look at me ", he whispered.
You couldn't do it. You had been so mad at him, that you couldn't trust him.
" Y/N please ", he sobbed.
You refused to do it, even though you wanted to, you knew you couldn't do it. Closing your eyes again, you felt yourself being lifted and carried down stairs and into the car. The hospital. You didn't think you lost that much blood, but you did. You had to stay in the hospital for a couple of days until they told you, you could leave.
Sammy became the boy you loved again, but it didn't last very long. He went back to going out, and parties, and staying at other peoples houses. You had made your final decision, you were going to find out what was so " important " to him. You grabbed your phone off the coffee table and texted Jack Gilinsky.
You: where's Sammy???
Jack: um...........
You: Jack, I'm serious, tell me
Jack: He's.. At my place, right now.
You: good, keep him there for now, im coming over.
" Then I called you at home, you said that you weren't alone, I should've known better, now it hurts much more "
You drove over to Jacks house and pounded on the door. Within a few seconds the door opened to reveal Jack. You weren't thinking and so you just stepped in and headed straight into the house. You looked in the living room, only Johnson. So you headed upstairs and heard noises. Walking down the hall, you opened the door to reveal the love of your life having full on sex with another girl. In that moment you slid down the door. Sammy had stopped kissing her and looked at you with wide eyes.
" Y/N i-its uh not what it really looks like, I swear I would never cheat on you", Sammy said apologizing and walking towards you.
You were crying now. Sammy was never in love with you. It was all just a lie. Tears kept coming down your face.
" I hate you, I hate you ", you choked out.
" I hate you ", you sobbed once more before leaving him.
You raced down the stairs and pushed past both Jacks who tried stopping you. You got into your car and drove home quietly and quickly. When you got inside you threw your keys at the wall and screamed.
" I hate you ", you cried once again, knowing he couldn't hear you.
" You caused my heart to bleed and you still owe me a reason, cuz I can't figure out why "
Sammy cane home and immediately pulled you into his arms, but you pushed back. He looked at you hurt.
" You promised ", you cried to him. " you said you wouldn't do it ".
He looked down at his feet.
" I know, I know Y/N, but I just.. I couldn't do it anymore ", Sam told you.
You looked at him hurt and disgusted.
" This is the last time I'm saying this, but i-i love you ", you told him and got up and walked out the door.
A tear slipped down his cheek. This was it. Everything you two had, was gone. You guys were strangers, strangers with memories that were never forgotten.
" I love you ", Sam said to himself, hoping that he could've told you, but never did.
