Halfway Gone (Camren)

Chapter 1: Can't outrun the feeling

I act like I haven't got anything to hide.

However, this story became more than just a friendship.

I will admit to that.

Advice to everyone reading who is questioning : Don't run away from that feeling, embrace it.
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Word for this Chapter:

Stoic

A person who can endure pain or hardship without showing their feelings or complaining.

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Lauren's POV

Running through these streets keeps me sane, keeps my mind away from what's truly eating at me. I wish I can just run all night long, sprinting until I reach the edges of this world, yet it is always my body that gives in.

Night has fallen, and I pass an abundance of dimmly lit and nearly-empty restaurants where I see locals sitting around smoking cigarrettes, and a couple sharing an intimate moment cuddling on a cold winter's night, what I wish I could experience.

I shift my gaze forward and focus all my energy on one more lap around the block, trying to beat my fastest lap from last night. At this point both my legs are numb, and the buzzing ambiance of traffic lights fills my environment. When my heart pumps through my chest, it drives me to keep on going. I can't feel anything else, so why stop now?

While sprinting effortlessly, I draw a connection to my physical numbness to my actual life. It's been a while now that I've felt so detached from everything around me. I can't help but feel this empty pit in my stomach, and I can't seem to shake this feeling of wanting something more out of my life. Don't get me wrong, I am eternally grateful that I've still able to run on both my legs and have shelter over my head, yet it's these feelings and anxiety that send my soul adrift.

I am stoic about this.

You'd never know that pain I'm dealing with, you can say I have a good poker face.

A familiar building grinds my body to a halt, where I steady my hands on my hips, feeling my sweat drip down my temples, and the thumping of blood wooshing around my eardrums.

It isn't a safe place, my neighbourhood. I don't spend time hanging around, and I avoid the receptionist's stare as I enter the lobby. I jog up the 3 flights of stairs then into the small apartment that is my home. I cherish it for what it is.

The warm water spraying on my face and body brings me down from my high, letting my body take a rest, breathing out easy. I let the water fill me up, as I feel that I'm half of what I'm supposed to be.

The lovely scent of coconut lathers up all over my body and hair, letting the water slowly and gradually wash all of it off. I run my hands through my long, brunette locks and slip into my shorts and singlet.

I walk by window and catch a glimpse of the night sky littered with sparkles, and the bright white crescent moon that dares to peek out from its clouds. That's when my mind creeps back into it's pit of darkness. I look back at my empty bed and let my body smash into the sheets hoping they would take me whole.

It's now midnight, and I'm lying here crying about nothing, but at the same time, everything.
Nothing's wrong, but nothing's right either.

How can emptiness be so heavy?

// Another's POV //

My ears are ringing as I take out my in-ear plugs. While wiping the dampness on my forehead with the back of my hand, I look out into the thousands of unfamiliar faces all screaming at me, saying my name and expressing their admiration. This feeling, it's what I live for. That is, until lights are off, and the curtains are up. That is when my soul creeps back into its cave, where I feel the most alone.