funny and scarcastic sayings and comebacks

comebacks (not finished)

1. When someone says, "No"... <--- this is the "situation".
Yeah, right. <--- this is your sarcastic response.

Sometimes, there will be "no situation". You should be able to figure out when to use the sentence in italics then.

1. Sometimes I don't know whether to laugh at you or pity you.

2. When someone's looking at an object (e.g. his wallet) and laughing...
What, does your wallet tell jokes?

3. When someone does something extremely fast...
You taking steroids?

4. When someone says, "I feel so stupid"...
It's okay to feel what you are.

5. When someone is spelling something aloud...
Are you taking part in a spelling bee?

6. When someone is counting random numbers aloud...
Playing BINGO?

7. When someone says, "Hey, you wanna hear a joke?"...
It's okay, you're a joke all by yourself.

8. Looks like I overestimated the number of your brain cells.

9. When someone says, "I feel so stupid" or something similar...
That's an understatement.

10. When someone says, "I'm so short!"...
* No, you're *quite* tall.
* Cheer up! You're still taller than my  dog!