He was lying on applegrass. But that couldn't be right. The last time he'd done this...
He looked beside him.
There she was, grinning down at him, blonde hair whipping in the breeze, her tongue between her teeth, exactly how he remembered. "Doctor? You fell asleep on me. You alright?"
A small awe-fillled smile crept across his face. "Rose?" he said, very quietly, not quite daring to believe it. She laughed and his hearts nearly stopped. "Yeah, 'course I am. Who'd you expect? Is that whole regeneration thingy still messin' with your 'ead?" He laughed just a little. "I...it must be. I...I must have just....dreamt it all...?" She grew concerned and he wanted to slap himself. He never wanted to see anything but a smile on that face ever again. "What'd you dream about tha's got you so rattled?"
He sat up slowly. "I dreamed...I dreamed I-I'd lost you....I dreamed I was alone....This whole weird thing with a...an ancient creature, on Earth....it was Christmas...and there was this bride...but all I could think, seeing her in that-that dress, was...."
He stared at her through this whole little speech, and realized what he was about to say almost too late. He managed to stop himself, and cleared his throat awkwardly. Rose stared right back into his eyes, and murmured, "Doctor...what were you thinkin' about?"
And looking into the eyes he could have sworn he'd be missing for the rest of his long lives, without the hope of seeing them again, he gave in to what he'd resisted for what felt like too long.
"I kept thinking about how beautiful you'd look in a wedding gown, and how much I missed you, and how much it hurt that I'd never...never said..."
She looked shocked that he'd said it out loud, and was blushing violently. He chuckled and pulled her into a hug as she whisper-squeaked "Doctor!" into his shoulder. They held each other for a moment before she pulled back a little, cleared her throat, and said nervously, tucking hair behind her ear-a habit he loved so much-"So...does that mean...do you...?"
He almost couldn't believe what he was doing, but he had been given the chance to see what could happen if he didn't.He could never let her go. He thought he had always known he couldn't. Though it didn't make any sense, though he was still a Time Lord and she was still human...he didn't care anymore. So, he leaned in, cupping her face with one hand and tucking the other around her waist. She gasped slightly. He smiled and brushed her lips, gently, almost hesitantly, almost as if he were asking for permission. She granted it by kissing him back, firmly but very, very gently.He couldn't breathe, couldn't think, didn't want to. In this moment, he wasn't a soldier, or a survivor, or a god, or an alien. He was just a man, kissing the most amazing, impossible, beautiful, fantastic woman who had ever lived.
After a very long moment, they pulled back to look at each other, and giggled awkwardly, their forheads pressed together. "Finally," Rose cheeked, nudging his arm, "Took you this long to figure that out?" He took her hand and stared at it, his thumb stroking affectionately across her knuckles.
"Rose?" He looked up at her pleadingly. "Promise me that you'll never leave?"
She laughed, and scooped him into another hug. He held her tightly, as if he'd never let go. "'Course I won't. Because..."
She moved to face him and grinned his favorite grin. Very hesitantly, and blushing heavily-how it should have...should be, he thought, no rush or pain-Rose said the only thing the Time Lord would have burned up suns to hear.
"Doctor...my Doctor...I love you."
He looked into her eyes, trying to convey all of the emotion he could with them because he knew his voice alone would never be sufficient for how he felt for his little pink and yellow human shopgirl. "Rose Tyler..." The name on his tongue was the most beautiful music ever sung. He smiled her favorite hundred watt smile, and took a deep breath for those three little words...the most important words he'd ever say...
The Doctor woke with a start, unsure at first where he was. Where was Rose? Where was the grass? Why didn't the air feel right?
He looked around, and slowly, as his dark, lonely bedroom registered, he remembered.
He looked down at his disheveled brown suit, at the tightly balled up covers in his left hand, at the small, insignificant looking blue and purple jacket clutched in his right, and he felt tears well up again. He began to shake, hard, staring at it. The pain of losing her was fresh all over again, all the good Donna had done for him destroyed by one moment of weakness from his subconcious. Her face was still fresh in his mind, smiling, blushing, happy and carefree, her voice still saying those words in that beautiful London accent. He brought the jacket up to his face, holding it with both hands now, and gently rubbed the soft fabric across his cheek. It still smelled like her. Faint floral perfume, and her shampoo.
He broke down, sobbing and rocking, and stayed on his bed, wishing the world away, calling in vain for his Rose, cursing himself for ever pausing before saying those cruel words.
Every room in the whole TARDIS echoed with his screams and sobs. They almost seemed strongest and most heartbroken in one partricular, empty little pink room.
Far away, in a little pink room, a pink and yellow human shopgirl screamed awake, crying, begging him to say it, please say it. She slowly stopped screaming, and cried silently, a small silver key on a chain clutched in her right hand, hugged close to her chest. It was all she had left of him. She could still see his face fresh in her mind, smiling, blushing, goofy and nervous enough to be a teenage human boy, still hear his voice shyly calling her beautiful in a wedding gown.
It had been a dream.
But of course, this dream, though especially vivid tonight,was not unusual for her.A/N I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry.
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Doctor Oneshots
FanficSilly little drabbles and oneshots I'll add over time, whenever I have an idea.