good girls are bad girls

F o r t y

Clary's POV:
I wake up and open my eyes slowly. The only thing I can hear is the beat of the monitors assuring me that I am still alive and I will be okay.

I look around and my eyes land on Calum. Then Michael. Then Ashton. Then Luke.

I smile warmly and they don't notice. All of them are sleeping but Luke. He is wide awake. Biting his fingernails. Shaking his legs uncontrollably and looking down at his feet.

I quickly and quietly grab a pillow so he doesn't notice.

I then throw it at him and it hits him in the face.

"Hey." I say casually.

"Oh my gosh clary!" He says while jumping out of his seat.

"Shhh don't wake them!" I yell at him while looking at the 3 sleeping boys.

I laugh because Michael is the loudest snorer and Calum is drooling everywhere.

Ashton has his feet up to his chest and is hugging one of my stuffed animals.

I laugh and Luke sits beside me on the bed.

"So how are you feeling?" Luke asks me.

I look at him and say,"Alright I guess."

I finally break eye contact and look at my hands.

He grabs my hands and rubs them. I feel an electric shock. I missed this between us. It always felt right with Luke.

I smile at our hands and look up at him.

"I missed you."
He says.

"I missed you too." I say putting my head on his shoulder.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A few days later I get realeased from the hospital.

Luke takes me to his house and I wonder why.

"Why are we here?" I ask as I walk inside.

"I want you to help me come up with some lyrics to my new song I wrote." He says smiling widely.

I smile too and say," Okay what's it called?" I ask my mind full of other questions I would rather ask him right now.

"Amnesia." Luke says looking down.

I follow him upstairs into his room after I say hello to Liz first of course.

He grabs his guitar and strums it.

Then he begins to sing and I almost drool all over my self.

I drove by all the places
We use to hang out getting wasted
I thought about our last kiss
How it felt the way you tasted.

Then he stops.

"Why did you stop?" I ask furiously.

"I told you I needed help." He says laughing.

"Okay umm....." I think for a moment then I remember how it felt when Luke wouldn't answer me.

"How about... And even though your friends tell me your doing fine are you somewhere feeling lonely even though he's right beside you..?" I ask him.

He smiles brightly and says," Great now plug it in and sing it for me!"

I groan and take his guitar.
"Oh and you can add anything else if you feel the need to." He says grabbing his pencil and paper. Prepared to write down anything in case I add more lyrics.

I begin to play and I begin to sing also.

I drove by all the places
We use to hangout getting wasted
I thought about our last kiss
How it felt the way you tasted
And even though your friends tell me your doing fine
Are you somewhere feeling lonely even though he's right beside you
When he says those words that hurt you
Do you read the ones I wrote you
Sometimes I start to wonder was it just a lie
If what we had was real
How could you be fine
Cause I'm not fine at all

Then i stop tears rushing down my face at this point.

"Luke is this song about us?" I ask wiping my tears away.

"Yeah.. Is that really how you felt when I wouldn't answer you?" He asks me.

"Yeah." I said.

I look down at him writing fast.

I strum the guitar again and say:
I remember the day you told me you were leaving..

Then Luke looks up.
He smiles and sings: I remember the make up running down your face.

I laugh and we take turns singing.

Me: and the dreams you left behind you didn't need them
Luke: Like every single wish we ever made
Me: I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
Luke: and forget about the stupid little things
Me: like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you.
Luke: and the memories I never can escape
Me: cause I'm not fine at all.
Luke: the pictures that you sent me their still living in my phone
Me: I'll admit I'll like to see them
Luke: I'll admit I feel alone
Me: and all my friends keep asking why I'm not around
Luke: it hurts to know your happy.
Me: yeah it hurts that you moved on.
Luke: it's hard to hear your name when I haven't seen you in so long
Me: it's like we never happened was it just a lie?
Luke: if what we had was real how could you be fine
Me: cause I'm not fine at all I remember the day you told me you were leaving
Luke: I remember the make up running down your face
Me: and the dreams you left behind you didn't need them.
Luke: like every single wish we ever made
Me: I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
Luke: and forget about the stupid little things
Me: like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you.
Luke: and the memories I never can escape
Me: if today I woke up with you right beside me
Luke: like all of this was just some twisted dream.
Me: id hold you closer than I ever did before
Luke: and you'd never slip away and you'd never hear me say
Me: I remember the day you told me you were leaving
Luke: I remember the make up running down your face
Me: and the dreams you left behind you didn't need them
Luke: like every single wish we ever made
Luke: I wish that I could wake up with amnesia and forget about the stupid little things like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you and the memories I never can escape
Me: cause I'm not fine at all
Luke: no I'm really not fine at all
Me: tell me this is just a dream
Luke: cause I'm really not fine at all.

Then were done. Luke grabs my hands and I look into his eyes. His gorgeous blue eyes.

I hear sniffling and breathing on the other side of the door.
I open it fast and the 3 boys fall.

They were listening to us!

Luke laughs and I stand there almost peeing my self.
Ashton is on the bottom then Michael then Calum.

I help Calum up and Luke helps Michael.

"Guys that was really good!" Michael says.

Michael put his arms around me and says," I knew my new 'BFF' had it in her." He smiles as he says it too.

"'Bff?' Huh?" I ask laughing.

"Yeah." Michael says.

"Anyway you guys need to publish it! I'll talk to Manny about it." Calum says knocking michaels arm off of me.

"Really?" I ask getting excited.

"yeah! You guys are good." Ashton says.

I smirk and the rest of the day goes into a blur