Weak For Him || Darkness Book #1 ✔️

Bonus Chapter 1

Liam's Pov

I don't know what I was thinking, answering the phone, let alone going to her.. but when I heard her crying down the phone, everything inside me responded, and I needed to help her, no matter what.
But then I brought her to my house like the dumbest person. Stacey and me alone.. not a good idea. None of us know how to keep how hands to ourselves.. and I don't fucking want to, I want to touch her, give her what she wants.. but it's wrong. We're wrong.
There's nothing wrong with you! You are perfect just the way you are, baby! That's what she used to always tell me, I'd try drill it into my head. Her words, my mama words, but their words just over take and I can't fucking consentrate when it starts.
I light my joint and look down at my queen, she's sleeping peacefully on me and it's all I want, all I need. She doesn't understand how hard it is for me to be like this.. keeping her at a distance when all I wanna do is pull her close. Never let her go but my life.. my love.. it's all wrong for her and what she deserves. She deserves a good guy like Victor, someone who's gonna be there day in, day out, not risking freedom by the kind of work I do. I wish it was different but this is all I can do. All I know. I won't bring Stacey down with me. Ever.
"You can't leave me.. I love you" Stacey mumbles in her sleep and pulls me closer and I tuck my arm around her tighter and kiss her hair, over an over.
"I love you, baby, so much.."
"I'm sorry for everything I said and did to you that made you think I didn't want you or love you because shit.."
"I love you so much, it hurts, I look at you now and wonder how the hell you loved me in the first place when you're just.. perfect baby"
"You'll never be replaced, you will always be my first of everything. But.. fuck!" I rub my hand down my face feeling my heart pounding, not knowing where I'm going with this but just needing to get it out. She groans and cuddles into me more and I feel her hand slip under my tshirt and caress my side making my heart settle it's pounding and I sigh, kissing her forehead.
"You've always deserved better that me, baby. I'm just having trouble letting you go" I say quietly so it's out there and drop my head back. What the fuck am I doing?
I sit here staring up at the ceiling, listening to my queen breathe evenly as she sleeps and something about having her back in my arms soothes a big part of me.
"You promised me forever.. why did you leave, you can't just leave me!" She sounds pained and I look at her seeing her face screwed up. Her nails on my hip begin to sink into my flesh and her breathing becomes heavier and it's like she's trying to crawl into me.
"I don't want to leave you, I promised you forever because I meant it, baby. I've never broken a promise, but right now.. it's not our time beautiful" I tell her as I stroke through her soft long, brunette hair and down her back as I kiss her forehead and hair. I breathe in her intoxicated scent mingling with the alcohol and sigh out heavily. I gotta pull my shit together. She is my end game. Otherwise what's the point in all this. I'm building as much as I can as quick as I can. She deserves the world and I'm gonna be the one to give it to her. It's just a matter of time.
I continue smoking and sipping my rum until the joints finished and snuff it out in the ashtray.
"Right now, you gotta be happy baby, that's all I want" I tell her before slowly easing her up as I stand holding her. She cuddles into me, pressing her face into my neck and whimpering as she clings to me.
"You're okay baby, I'm here" I whisper as I walk out the livingroom and up the stairs to my bedroom.
Pulling the covers back awkwardly, I lay her down and take her shoes off then decide her jeans have gotta go. -I never sleep in jeans, Liam!- smirking at her voice in my head, I slowly pull them down and she lifts for me and let's me take them off. I place them over the chair in the corner of my room before walking back over. I just look at her curled up in my bed and everything in me wants to get in there with her. Needing that closeness more than anything. Fuck!
Shaking my head, I pull the covers over her and slowly back out of the bedroom, pulling the door slightly too.
Heading back down stairs, I walk into the livingroom dropping down on the sofa and billing myself another joint as I swig from the rest of the rum.
Did I fuck her up by bringing Victor along with me..
I wasn't trying to get between them, that's the last thing I wanted but he deserves to lay hands on him at least.. But now.. fuck!
I roll the joint and light the end, taking a long drag and holding it down. What the fuck is wrong with me?
I will fix this. I will make her see straight, I'm not ready for us yet. Victor needs to pull his shit together and do the right thing. He's nothing like me. I'll get him over here and they can talk. I'll even tell Stacey the whole truth tomorrow. I was the one who killed Marcus, not him. She'll understand and they'll get back together. It's the right thing to do. For now.