𝘗𝘦𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘳 ~ [𝘋𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘥 𝘹 𝘖𝘊]

⇒ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴇɪɢʜᴛ

Wednesday... What a day. What a fucking day.

"Alright, I've had it up to here with all of you!" David exclaimed, gesturing his hand at about waist height. Gwen and I followed him into the Mess Hall wearily. I should have been surprised to see Quartermaster tied up and suspended from the spinning fan in the middle of the room, but after the shit I'd seen, I really wasn't. "And I didn't even think that was possible!"

"What?" Max turned to the three of us, voice flat as ever.

"This is the fourth time this week you've been rude to our dear, dear QM. Do you think he likes being suspended from the ceiling?" I thought back to what had transpired on Spooky Island and decided I didn't want the answer to that question.

"Do not speak for my interests." And there we go.

"Charming." My lips pulled into a thin line. "But David's right, you should try and treat him with respect." If I knew the redhead (and I did), I knew he was planning something. Or had already planned it and refrained from telling us. Probably the latter.

"We left his pants on." Nikki pointed out indignantly. Well, isn't that just lovely.

"Come on kids, this is shitty, even by your standards." Gwen sighed, turning down the intensity of the fan's spin.

"Which is why today is no longer Wednesday, but rather the first Quartermaster Appreciation Day!" He paused. "And Wednesday." Figured that the kids would react to this with a bored groan, shoulders drooping. "Now I want each of you to go out and find something that really shows your love for our hardworking groundskeeper!"

"I have given you nothing to revere." The hook-handed man stated, still spinning a little. "I will betray you all when the opportunity arises." How nice of him.

"Quartermaster, to show you just how much I care about you-" David was interrupted.

"You'll be first."

"I," He continued, trying to come across unfazed, "Went out and found the best gift you could think of! Your last living relative." I was right, he did have a plan. I could sense things might go sour, I knew that if anyone from my family (save Lila and Freddie) showed up unannounced, I wouldn't be too happy about it.

"Last living?" I arched an eyebrow. I didn't exactly know how old QM was, but surely he had more than one, unless something fucking awful had happened.

"Well, the last one the government knows about." I was beginning to get flashbacks to Cameron. Speaking of which, hadn't seen the prick in a while. Can't say I was complaining.

"You did what now?" As I suspected, the grey haired caretaker didn't seem pleased.

"Come on in!" David threw open the door jubilantly.

"I think I'm gonna be sick!" Neil muttered not all that quiet. I swivelled my head to see what all the fuss and gasps were about. The figure in the doorway looked exactly like QM, only with slightly fuller lips and no beard. Okay, that was a lie, a small beard consisting of a few hairs. Everything was an exact replica, even down to the hook-hand.

"Is that...?" Max trailed off, a little too horrified to speak.

"Yeppers! It's the Quartermaster's Quartersister." Now trust me, I know better than anyone how harmful and awful it is to assume someone's gender, but I was having a hard time getting my head around the fact that was a woman. Not for any rude or stereotypical reasons, more biological ones. Not that using science as justification made me feel any better about my immediate reaction, but oh well.

"Well?" Gwen tried to intimate a conversation. QM spoke first.

"YOU GODDAMN BITCH-WHORE I TOLD YOU TO STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!"