My Hidden Letters: A Letter to Someone I Used to Know

Three Months

Even though three months have passed by, I still think of you.

Even though I said goodbye, I still love you.

Even though you hurt me countless times, I still want you.

Even though I can see your flaws, I still see you as perfect.

Even though I ended things, I still wonder what might have been if you were a better man.

Even though I love you, I still wonder who hurt you so bad that it made you change into the person you are.

Even though I want to move on, it kills me to try and forget you.

It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow

Even though I miss you, I must remember I lost someone that doesn't care about me.

Even though I love you, I must move on.

Even though I miss you, I must remember you lost someone that would do anything for you.

Even though I love you, I will move on.

Even though I don't know how, I will pick up the pieces you let behind.

Even though I can't see what the future holds for me, I will keep pushing forward.

Even though I never thought I'd loose you, I have to walk away for my own protection.

You said you liked storms, so I let you in. It turns out that you can only handle a little rain, and I'm a hurricane.

On Sunday, I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders because of you.

On Monday, I felt like I was worthless because of you.

On Tuesday, I felt like I'm invisible and nothing because of you.

On Wednesday, I felt like I was drowning because of you.

On Thursday, I felt like I couldn't continue on because of you.

On Friday, I felt like I wouldn't amount to nothing because of you.

On Saturday, I felt like the world came coaching down on me because of you.

Sometimes we have to let go of what's killing us, even if it's killing us to let go.

On days, I look back on our relationship, I see just how messed up it was.

On days, I think back to when we were together, I realize that you avoided arguments.

On days, I look back to us, I see just how broken our relationship was.

On days, I think back on the beginning of our relationship, you seemed to persistent.

On days, I look back on our time together, I realize how stupid I was to fall for you.

On days, I think back to our love, I see just how much you broke me.

On days, I remember how much I loved you, I realize that you never loved me.

The problem wasn't out love. The problem was that I wanted it too much, wanted you too much, and you didn't want it enough.

On nights, I remember when you said I love you, I think of how you never meant it.

On nights, I remember how you made me feel, I think of how you never felt the same.

On nights, I remember our late night conversations, I realize that you never meant it.

On nights, I remember when you insisted that you'd catch me when I fell, you didn't and I remember how the landing hurt more than the fall itself.

On nights, I remember how it felt when you loved me, I know that you never loved me.

On nights, I remember what it felt like to be in love, then I realize only I was in love.

On nights, I remember the night I lost you, now I realize it was the best thing for me.

I fell in love with the color black, black is modest, arrogant, dangerous, repulsive, dark, intriguing, enticing, and alluring. It's the color of the souls of every person you've ever touched, it's the color of your tongue when you say goodbye. Black is

not beautiful, it's corruptive in the most bone chilling way.