Under The Moonlight

Part 8.

Jungkook's POV

I desperately ran towards the graveyard in hopes to find Y/N here, it was the last place I expected to find her. I halted on my steps when I spotted a familiar silhouette in front of a tombstone. I slowly moved towards her figure, trying to not make any noise. She was trembling and whimpering. I found my heart clenching at the sight.

I went to her, placed my jacket over her shoulders, and settled beside her. It seemed like she didn't notice my actions until I pulled her into my embrace. She suddenly tensed up at my move. "Shh... I am here. Everything will be fine, calm down." I tried to sound as comforting as possible. 

Her body relaxed as soon as she recognized my voice, she snuggled more into me, pressing her face into my chest. I ran my right hand up and down her back, my other hand simultaneously caressing her scalp, trying to assure her that she was not alone. She looked so broken and vulnerable at the moment that I didn't even know if anything I do will calm her down. I still tried my best to radiate all the warmth that I could, in order to make her feel safe.

Y/N is someone who could control her emotions like they don't even exist. Although we are so close, I have hardly seen her cry and be this subdued about anything except her family.

What triggered her emotions that she had to come to the graveyard at this hour? And she didn't even bother talking to me about it? Or she could have written her feelings in her diary which, she said, helped her to cope with her emotions that she couldn't share verbally. Moreover, she seemed fine when she talked to me a couple of hours ago.

There were thousands of questions I wanted an answer for but I couldn't bring myself to verbalize the questions. She looks so fragile at the moment that it seems even my voice will break her apart.

Besides, Y/N was not the person who appreciated someone's blabbering when she was at her lowest point so I didn't even try to say anything. I just let her cry in my embrace, assuring her that I was here with her.

We just sat there for I have no clue how long, me trying my best to comfort her, holding her protectively in my arms.

Sensing her relaxed and slowed breathing, I looked at her to find her placidly sleeping, in contrast to how hysterically she was crying a few minutes ago. Her eyes swelled up so bad that even I can feel it heavy.

How much did you cry, Y/N?

Her stuffed nose made a noise every time she breathed, her lips still occasionally letting out small hitched breaths because of how hard she cried. The puffy and tinted cheeks and nose made her glow in the moonlight. I just admired her for some time before pecking her head and making her wear my jacket that was hanging on her shoulders.

I then slowly picked her up, carrying her to my car. I tried to be as careful as I could be to not wake her up but failed. She groaned a little before slowly opening her tired eyes when I placed her in the passenger seat. "Oh, did I wake you up? You can go back to sleep Y/N." She just looked at me and nodded. 

Y/N eyed my every move while I was walking back to the driver's seat. "Are you not going to sleep?" I asked her, curious as to why she was observing me. Perhaps she wants to talk to me? "J-Jungkook?" She cleared her throat before speaking, probably trying to not sound raspy.

"Yes?"
"You are real." She murmured under her breath, which I clearly heard amidst silence. "Of course I am real, Y/N, what do you mean?" I chuckled a little. "Umm...nothing. Let's go home." She said, avoiding eye contact with me.

"Oh, sure. Are you fine?" I said, concerned about her condition. She just nodded at me. I can clearly see that she is not okay. Why is she suddenly so distant to me? Nonetheless, I shrugged the thought off, thinking it must be the aftereffect of her breakdown. I leaned in towards her to fasten her seat belt but she flinched. "W-What are you doing?" 

"The seatbelt," I said, pointing towards it. "Oh, I can do it by myself." She said and secured the seatbelt around her. I observed her every movement. She looked abnormally stiff and even gulped a couple of times as if trying to hold her tears in.

"Y/N? Are you okay?" I tried to sound as warm and welcoming as possible. As soon as I said that, her eyes brimmed with tears, ready to fall any second now. "Y/N? What happened? Are you hurt somewhere? Do you not feel good? Do we need to go to the hospital?" I panicked.

Y/N just shook her head and took deep breaths, in an effort to calm down. "Y/N, please tell me what's wrong. Are you not feeling good?" I softly said and sandwiched her left hand between mine. She suddenly retracted her hand from my hold and looked outside the window.

I was perplexed by her actions. Why is she behaving this way?
"Y/N, please look at me." She acted like I was not even here. "Look at me, Y/N," I demanded but didn't get any reaction. 

This is not the Y/N I know. She never shuts me out like that. If she had any problem, she would talk to me. She would tell me that she doesn't want to talk if she was not ready, yet she never behaved this way to me. I could feel her building a wall around herself like we met the first time, but why?

Not having any choice, I leaned to her and unbuckled her seatbelt. Before she could ask me what I was up to, I already pulled her to my lap. Her petite figure made it a lot easier to do so. "What do you think you are doing, Jungkook? Leave me." She wiggled around to get off my grip but I held her tight.

"Tell me what's wrong," I demanded again. "Just let me go." She strictly said and continued trying to get off my lap. "You know you can't get off until you talk to me, Y/N." She stopped moving and looked at me, tears already streaming down her face.

Reflexively, I pulled her closer and wrapped my arms around her body, hugging her tight. "I am sorry Y/N, I didn't mean to make you cry. But at least give me a hint so that I can help you out." I softly patted her head, feeling guilty for forcing her like that. "W-Why are you doing this Jungkook? Don't you hate me?" She whispered between her sobs.

"What are you saying? I would never hate you Y/N. And you know that." I said, confused that where it was coming from. She didn't speak anything for a while so I pulled back and cupped her face, making her look at me.

"Why do you think I hate you Y/N? You know that's not true." I softly repeated, patiently waiting for her answer. "Because..." She trailed off.
"Because?" I tried to make her continue her words. 

She took a deep breath and spoke "Because I asked you something you didn't want. Now you don't want to remain friends with me anymore." She barely even whispered, looking away from me.

"But I never said that Y/N. I-" Y/N cut me off before I could explain myself. "You don't have to tell me for me to know what's going on in your mind, Jungkook. I know I messed up the moment I asked you to be my boyfriend. And you were so cold to me the day before. You don't want to talk to me anymore. Yo-" 

I couldn't hear her broken voice any longer so I placed my finger on her lips to prevent her from speaking. She looked at me, puzzled. I had a lot to say to her but I couldn't figure out where to start. 

Feeling overwhelmed by the circumstance, I just did whatever my first instinct told me.