Why Falling In Love Hurts

First day of hell😪

Amanda! I hear my mom calling me.Its the first day of school "jeez can this day end already". Its Saturday and I'm spending the weekend at school, things can not get any worse. A whole new school so I guess I have to pretend I'm okay and play with other children I mean why can't I just stay home and send the tests via email and school work.One last look at the mirror "You can do this,just stay positive you'll make it through the seven hours...who am I kidding I won't but I have to let's go amish"

          .....

Got on the bus with my sister and we left .My mom left earlier and is suppose to meet us at school...nothing but silence along the way so I decided to put on earphones and listen  to Jorja Smith 'burn'.Music has always been one thing that gives me peace and takes me to my happy place where I'm all alone with no one to annoy me. Finally we get to our stop I   swear I was praying that something good comes out of this day. So we arrived at St Marks school "mhh seems small" I thought to myself. Immediately we walked through the gate my world stopped. Where should I go jeez? Wheres my mom ? Haaa owww there she was standing across a block I waved she saw me and my sister.  We Walked across saw some of the learners mhh uniform wasn't all that bad I mean I wore Jean's and a white tee shirt and Adidas sneakers basically I was the outer lier. As we walked over to my mom we got into an office and made ourselves comfortable as we waited for a financial advisor I guess. Why do we need those it's just basically someone telling you how to spend your hard earned money jeez i know I won't need those.

Few seconds later walks in some guy holding papers I guess and oh might I just say he looked pretty dang cute for a financial advisor. Apparently his also the accountant of the school. So they had a  chat with my mom I don't know why but I just kept staring which was weird for me too. So he looks back at me and I decide to break eye contact and look out the window.

Few minutes later some teacher walks in . Apparently the portugese teacher and smiles and asks of how we doing? We both replied "we good" then he tells us that we going to enjoy our time at St Mark's...I wouldn't bet on it i thought to myself . A few seconds later my mom stands with the accountant and calls us . We got into the car and drove to where ever we were going . Music was playing in the back ground and it was hip hop that's one good  thing for the day. Guess the accountant loves hip hop  I thought to myself. We get to the shops where uniform is sold at low veld. So the school was changing its uniform. So they show us to the changing rooms with uniform on hand. So I lock the door behind me and fit the uniform jeez the skirt was a mini skirt I couldn't go to school with this. I got out my mom was like " hey it's short but it's not bad" . I'd rather be in my Jean's for the whole year than wear this. So the lady at the counter said we should come back Monday and collect the correct sizes and full uniform. So I guess it's Jean's for a  few more days. After we were done with fitting the accountant tells my mom that that's all for today and my mom asks the million dollar question "should they attend classes?" The accountant tells my mom that we can start Monday. I know I said Amen! And gave my mom a smirk smile  After he told my mom that we will start Monday. So as we departed I looked at the accountant and I heard my mom say "Thank you Tee" which was short for Terrance. So that was his name Terrance. Everything about him just made sense he was my type of drink, short hair, tall not dark girls just okay I guess don't get me started on the body structure...his eyes actually made it worse I mean the guy wasn't trying to impress but I was definitely impressed. Few seconds later he waved goodbye and we said our goodbyes too.

So we took the bus once again back home a whole forty minutes of travelling back this would be my life for the next few months till I finish school I guess its best I start loving the bus. The bus kept going round and round the hill . I fell asleep and woke up a few minutes from where I get off. Finally home. I just want to sleep it's been a long day. Decided to take a bath first and enjoy the lady day as a free teenager being 19 was not easy. Pretending you okay when you not faking smiles the whole day is not easy I mean I'm not like other teenagers I have my days and most of them are just not mine. After leaving the bathroom i took my pajamas and wore my gown and slippers and went into the kitchen . Had no appetite so i just put the food in the oven and drank coffee instead just to end my day .  I Checked my phone it's been long , app messages came flying in . All my friends were curious as to how my day went. I posted on my  whatsApp status "I'm still typing meaning I made it through the day people"...I replied to every message and went to bed.

SUNDAY

I hate Sunday honestly it's the one day that reminds you that tomorrow is monday. It's my day to cook so by half 7 I was up cooking  the sunday course. Decided to make brown rice,grilled chicken along with lettuce salad and beetroot with a bit of marmalade source nothing says sweet like marmalade. My mom walked in "morning" I replied and continued. She left to go get ready my dad was an early bird he was all done. He decided to make tea and was cramping my style in the kitchen I enjoy my own space even in the kitchen. I decided to go bath before my mom sees me in my pajamas. I was 30 minutes late but with a good excuse, cooking food that's going to feed their lazy bums. I took my bath then wore a long fitted black dress and black heels then combed my Afro into a bun and tied it. I looked amazing hey. "Girl u dripping melanin don't let them tell you different" pointing at myself on the mirror.  I Left my mom in the house and walked to church. The whistles I was getting from different males felt amazing but boring at the same time. Church started at exactly 10am . We had a great Pastor ofcourse my dad ...yes I'm a preacher's kid that enjoys hip hop weird I know. Church was okai by half 12 church was out. I went to the store to get my ticket  for the bus and as  I was standing in line my Ex appeared before me. I wasn't sure if I should greet or just run but I decided just to relax and face him . Basically he came over with a savanna on his left hand, he hugged me and asked how I was doing . This was the same guy that ruined my life a few months ago . I was over that but he did hurt me badly. I enjoyed my time with this guy but the problems that followed him were just too much I couldn't handle any of it ...story for another day. I looked straight into his eyes and said "Quinton " he called me back "skaty" that's the same name he called me when we were still an item it brought  back good and bad memories. He continued and talked  and asked if I actually hate him ..."dude you almost destroyed my life why would you ask a dumb question" looking at him I replied nah its cause you no longer greet me"...my thoughts we saying something different from my mouth. He looked at me like we were still dating and said I should text him once i get home and he left me on the queue and went over to his  friends. I just thought of how my life was turned upside down after dating him but life lessons hurt hey. So I bought my ticket and walked back home. Got home and reHeated food and everyone ate. I decided to go sleep. I decided to listen to music and sleep and to my surprise I woke up at 9pm. Everyone was getting ready to sleep and I was waking up. So i decided to eat supper and go back to sleep because tomorrow i had a long day ahead of me.