The Love Guru

Chapter One

Friday night.

Rahul, my boyfriend of a steady 3 months and I were meeting up with a few friends of his. We were at this new hipster bar, FATTE. Rahul's ex-girlfriend worked on the restaurant's PR and had gotten us seats within a week of this place opening up.

Meeting his friends. This was supposed to be a big one. A significant milestone in the courting stage.

I took a sip from my artisanal beer and watched the couple sitting diagonal to us whisper sweet nothings into each other's ears.

"What do you think she's drooling into his ear?" Rahul whispered in my ear. His breath tickling my neck and smelled of lightly of alcohol. "Probably telling him how much she loves his ear germs."

"Nope," I dead panned not looking at him. "She's trying to get the attention of the guy sitting near the bar." I nodded to the bespectacled man frowning at the couple. "Probably her fiancée, judging by that ring tan-what?"

I broke off as Rahul burst into silent laughter his shoulders shaking from the effort of controlling himself.

"How do you manage to make up the queerest stories about people?" He said loudly making his friends laugh.

I laughed politely and took sipped from my drink to cool my burning cheeks.

If only I was making it up.

Rahul looped his arm around my shoulder and was playing with the strap of my top.

"Bacon ice-cream with chick pea strudel tea..." The waiter announced placing tiny portions of the ice cream and Chinese tea cups on our table.

Bacon and what?

My disgust must have been evident on my face since the waiter shot me a dirty look. 

To my horror I seemed to be the only one of this horrified opinion, the table burst into excited chatter as phones materialized and the influencers of the group updated their Instagram. Even Rahul, snapping a quick picture of the steaming tea and ice-cream took to a liking to the dish.

I recoiled.

"Not enjoying yourself, Lata?" Megha, Rahul's five foot two ex-girlfriend shot at me from down the table. She looked like the cat with the canary in its mouth.

"Lalita, just try it. It's really good." Rahul insisted holding out a spoon to me.

"Not in the least, Megha." I shot back and ate from the spoon Rahul held, maintaining eye contact with her.

She rolled her eyes and spoke to the person next to her.

Fine. Maybe I was a little jealous. But Rahul was the first boy in a long time who I managed to go steady with for 3 months since Aryan Kumar Solanki the Third.

A long winded romance and unhealthy obsession and lust.

Everyone at the table was staring at me expectantly. I chewed slowly and made 'uhm...hmm' gratification noises. They seemed to buy it.

I bent down and spat into my napkin.

I resurfaced and found my boyfriend trying not to laugh. I blushed to my roots.

I was going to retort and say something funny when I felt a shift in my focus towards the kitchens.

I ignored the feeling and answered his friend's question. But I was only half paying attention to the conversation my attention was constantly drawn to the kitchen.

Rahul saying something making everyone laugh, I smiled distracted as my palms got clammy and my heart beat faster. No, no no!

Not now. Not when everything was so perfect.