Somewhere Only We Know (Tayley Short)

Somewhere Only We Know

The bark was far from comfortable, small pieces protruding and digging into my back as I sat next to her. I didn't care though. I missed her so much, more than words could describe. I glanced over at the place where you were sitting and pleaded with my throat not to dry up and close before I had gotten a word out. The forest was beautiful, trees curving upwards almost like a halo for the earth. I had seen so many gorgeous things in my life, but nothing seems quite as pretty as it should be. Turning my head so I was facing forward again, I cleared my throat.

"It's been a long time, huh? My world's gotten pretty dull as of late, but I guess you'd know that. Thanks again for saying that we could always come here. I know it's been too long since I've seen you." I spoke awkwardly, but she never minded that I wasn't good with words. I didn't turn again, but I could feel the warmth of her smiling at me in that sweet, understanding way of hers. "You always had a way with picking the most enchanting places to call your own. If it weren't you would make it. You were great like that. I've never met someone who could manage to lighten up a room that was so dark. It's selfish of me, but so are a lot of things I'm going to say today. I wish we were the only ones who knew about this place."

She didn't reply. I didn't expect her to. She was always the type to stay silent rather than say something wrong. I understood it perfectly, but there were times when I really wish she'd say something. Anything.

"Do you remember when we met? We were pretty young then. I can still see that horrified expression on your face that you made all the time the year we first started talking. It used to make me so sad to see someone so nice in so much pain. I guess that's the good thing about not talking to you in so long. I never had to see you that sad again." I closed my eyes. I had decided years ago that pain was like momentum and energy, and all that other crap you learn in high school that couldn't be created or destroyed and was just forever there, forever changing but always the same. When she left I inherited all of the brokenness she had carried inside herself for so long and should I ever leave someone under any circumstances, I'd like to think they'd feel the sadness I've been carrying.

I voiced this to her, trying to smile at the spot where she was looking back at me from but I realized at the end how stupid I sounded. What I had said didn't make sense, or at least, I didn't feel like it. A small part of me partially hoped it was at least partially true, though, if only so I could know that someone would miss me like I had missed her.

I sighed, squeezing my eyes shut. I hated the burning sensation I could feel behind my eyelids as my eyes began to water. I didn't want to feel melancholy anymore. I clenched my fists, forcing myself to turn the bitterness into anger.

"God, Hayley, we all knew you weren't perfect but no one is and you're a hell of a lot closer than any one else ever got. Why would you leave me? I know you didn't mean to, and things happen and people stop talking but you could've called you. You could have made sure I never had to regret leaving. Now all I have is this place with you, and I can't even tell if you're really here. I mean, I know you are," I looked down at the soft earth next  to me, laying my hand lightly on the ground like I was afraid I disturb her, even if it wasn't possible, "But why'd you have to let the part of you I needed go? Why can't you still be here?"

As soon as it had come on, all the rage left me and I was left, hyperventilating and trying not to cry as I stared at the mess of leaves and twigs next to me. The place where everyone knew she was but no one could see her. There was nothing there above ground level. Nothing but the mess of plants that littered the entire forest and a chiseled stone that read in block letters:
                                                                        Rest In Peace
                                                                 Hayley Nichole Williams                                                The world isn't ready to make it without you

This is the fastest I've ever really written, so I'm so sorry if it sucks, but I just wanted to write it. I know I should have been working on We Are Broken instead, but I promise I'm going to have that updated soon. Thank you for reading this! I love you all.