Songs of Milan

Let Me Down.

Teach me to accept and forgive the apology in which you've long deserved

I am sorry for never teaching you how to say
"no"
I am sorry for never choosing you.
I am sorry that to this day you don't know
where you went wrong, and i never stopped to correct you, i removed the light from your eyes and blurred the lines of a boy and a man, as his his hunger pried at our safety, i figured this would make him love you.
I am sorry for every cold night you felt warmth in the places you can't wash away from the people i told you would keep us safe
I am sorry for making you choose, when i knew you weren't strong enough to choose us
I am sorry for introducing you to more pain in love than you could find in hate
I am sorry for turning your love into a trigger that caused him to bleed from his hands if he couldn't touch you
I am sorry for not teaching them to be gentle with you, they didn't deserve you, you did
I am sorry for blocking the space between what you thought and what i persuaded you to say that gave him the impression that this was the only way
I am sorry for never teaching you to understand that "no" was an option, he needed for us to say yes, he needed so desperately for our body to open it's chambers to him, he needed to feel wanted, "no" would've made him feel less than the man his body aches to be, he needed to escape from his own captivity and seek sanctuary inside of us, to turn this vacancy into his new home, i am sorry for teaching you that this was love, open up to me, i am sorry i never stopped to question what it is that you need
I am sorry for allowing you to think you were the trigger to unleash the beast from within the prince you cherished.. he was one in the same
I taught you how to keep a smile and hold hands with the darkness, say thank you
I am sorry for allowing you to believe you deserved this.. he wasn't our cue
I am sorry for never holding you tight
I am sorry i made you bleed grief because he was too weak to carry his own
I am sorry for manipulating you into searching for your father, and turning you into your mother
I am sorry for not saving you sooner
I am sorry for not loving you the way you deserved to be loved.

I forgive you for not knowing we are worth more than just being his late night
I forgive you for all of the things in which they'll never know I've done to you to please them, for consistently killing the parts of us i thought he could never love.
I am here, i am home, we are home, you are loved.
Hold me I'm a miracle.