20.02.2021
do you ever just sit back and watch your mental health sink and there's nothing you can do to pull yourself outta the whole you've dug. you just start relapsing one issues after another when you claim to everyone else that you promise you're doing better in the hopes that the more you say you're better the truer it will become but it doesn't and you slowly become more and more tired from faking you're okay. i cant take it anymore you all say i'm so skinny but i litterally feel so obese like i don't desevere to eat or breathe or have any friends. i shouldn't be wearing size 4 and size 6 but size 30 and XXXL. i don't deserve nice clothes. i don't deserve a nice house with a nice family who provide food for me to eat when all i do throw it back up again like some homeless person couldve had my food but i was being a selfish cunt and decided to scoff it all and then be sick waisting it. like i just feel so ugly and fat and like no matter how much makeup i put on i will always be ugly and fat and discusting. i will never look like cassie from skins, i will never look pretty, i will never be sexy and there's nothing i can do about it because i have no self controll
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