"just friends"

little things

a/n - hey sorry its been a while since i updated this, its been a long week! anyways im back now and im hoping to update this more often as long as i can think right. ok on to the story now!!

TW// mentions derealization, anxiety, almost panic attack

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feeling like a real person must be nice, mya thought to herself while watching a youtube video of jack manifold, who was becoming one of her favorite streamers.

what if im not real and this is all just a movie im watching? why does it feel like im watching myself live though someone else's eyes? She thought about this kind of thing all the time. this...feeling.....reality? out of body experience? Or just anxiety?

her thoughts were cut short when her friend Ally texted her.

my tommy: i love you too < 3

mya had a shortcut on her phone that sent her best friend a text saying "I love you" whenever they'd plug her phone in to charge. They had both agreed how no one says how they really feel enough. So mya did this just to make sure ally always knew that she was loved, even if mya was the only one who did. It's the little things..

She smiled a little, maybe I am real?

Ally was mya's best friend. Like the tommy to her tubbo. They even called each other tommy and tubbo because of how much like the clingyduo they are, especially when they're together. It really is the little things in life, isn't it?

(a/n m= mya & a=ally)

m- Hey ally im real right? And youre real? Youre over there and im right here?

a- yes youre real. And im real. Youre in your room and im near the ocean.

Ally always helps me feel real, why doesn't it feel completely right this time?

Mya's heart started to race, no no no no no not now not now.

Her chest started to ache as she felt her cheeks get warm and her eyes begin to swell with tears.

m- it doesn't really feel like it though...

a- I promise youre real and you are right where you need to be. Try to do that grounding exercise we practiced.

m- ok I'll do my best

she regained her sight though the tears that were threatening to fall, five things I can see. Breathe. Four things I can touch. Breathe. three things I can hear. Breathe. two things I can smell. Breathe. one thing I can taste. Ok now I breathe in and out just like Ace taught me. In for 4 seconds, hold for 7, out for 8.

She managed to keep herself from completely breaking down, but in the process had missed most of the video she had forgot she was watching.

Oh well I'll just watch it again anyways. Maybe I'll text mac. Maybe she can help me feel really real again.

mya: maaaaaaaaaac im bored

lilmacstaken: haha why are you bored mya?

Mya: no ones talking to meeeeeeee and I keep seeing cute couples tik toks that make me wanna yeet my phone

Lilmacstaken: me too dude

They continue their conversation for a while till mya starts to get tired and calls mac with full intention to keep talking for another two hours...which is exactly what they did.

"ok bye mya! Goodnight! And gO TO SLEEP!"

"okkkkkkkk I'll go to sleep but just this time... goodnight mac" I feel real

Mac hung up before mya was completely finished.

"thanks for helping me feel real again," mya said, almost sadly.

It's the little things. It really is.

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a/n its a little shorter this time im sorry for that but the next one will be longer i promise!! thanks for  reading!!! *mwah*