his star

𝐗𝐗𝐈𝐈

𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐨

𝚗𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟷𝟿𝚝𝚑, 𝟷𝟿𝟿𝟼

Sometimes stupid people make stupid mistakes and someone else has to pay for them.

That person often doesn't realise what they are doing until it is too late.

Too late to make it right, too late to listen to the other, too late to stop.

People say you learn from mistakes and once you have done one, you will never make the same mistake again. They say that it is natural to be at the wrong, the only thing that matters is that you make it right afterwards. Sometimes it's okay if you mess up over and over again, make the same mistake twice in a row and sometimes you don't even get it right on the third try.

But sometimes you can't allow yourself to mess up more than once. It depends on the severity of the mistake and if you see that it is already a nine out of ten, you better not add a point that doesn't have to be added. You better not let yourself go in a moment in which you need to stay focused, to pay attention, because it would be stupid to make it worse than it already is by repeating your deed more than once.

You better not do that mistake in the first place, simply said.

What happened can't be taken back, no matter how much you want it or not.

You can't just get hold of an eraser and try to rub over the wound you opened in order to close it. That wound needs treatment and after that you put on a band-aid to not make it worse than it already is, to not let dirt in that would exacerbate it. That wound needs time to heal and no matter how many band-aids you put on top of it, no matter how often you try to rub your eraser over it, you won't be able to change anything.

It's done and you can't change it.

I can't change it.

No one can change it.

The only thing you can do is trying to do your best to make the other one forgive you.

It won't be easy, that's for sure, because you hurt the other one with what you did and it will take time until you win the others trust again.

Sometimes it will take days, sometimes weeks, sometimes months, sometimes years.

And if you really fucked up, it will take forever and not even that might be long enough to hate a person if you really want to.

Whenever you are going to see that person, smell that person and hear that persons voice, you will always be reminded of what you did and your subconsciousness will make sure that you won't ever forget it.

But neither will the person your mistake affected.

That individual won't see, smell and hear you the way they did before. You are going to be a monster to them and every time they are going to see you, they will feel the pain you put them through.

I'm a monster and I'm the one who will let her relive the pain over and over again.

And I can't change it.

I can only try to make it less bad and that's why I'm currently standing in front of her door, waiting for my hand to make the first move after being petrified for fourteen minutes and thirty-three seconds.

I still haven't figured out what to say, still don't have a plan of how to approach her if I even get the chance to.

My hand collides with the wooden door anyway, knowing very well that I will never figure it out.