take this compass, follow it home

a door opens

Content Warnings: discussion of topics of abuse/rape/bullying/neglect/triggers, ableism, self-worth issues, the general fucked-ness that comes w/ the foster system

Tommy hadn't asked for this. He hadn't asked, hadn't wanted, hadn't needed. But Tommy was a ward of the state and thus had practically no control over his life. Apparently people saw the word 'minor' on his papers and decided that his own thoughts and desires were minor inconveniences to be dismissed.

So here he was again, on run eight.

Eight times he's been through this already.

Look, he knows what people think of the foster system. About half of it is true.

He hasn't been raped, or touched. He was hit in two different houses and the minute someone said anything about the abuse faced, Tommy was immediately pulled out of the homes and the parents prosecuted.

That said, it isn't all sunshine and rainbows either.

He has been bullied and shoved around by older kids. He's seen foster parents prioritize biological children over him. He's had to share rooms with too many children, but never had to sleep on the floor. He's been denied meals before, generally for misbehavior, but never starved.

But the worst thing, the absolute worst thing about being a foster kid in the system is that four out of his seven previous families cared about him. They had genuinely wanted another kid, and had been excited to invite Tommy into their homes.

Ultimately, it never worked out. House 1 decided he got into too many fights at school. House 3 told him that he didn't mesh well into the "dynamic" of the family as well as being loud and disruptive. House 4 had tried to convert him to Christianity but after six months of saying God's name in vain, sent him back. House 6 said they were used to "difficult children" which in reality meant that they decided that they could stamp Tommy's adhd out of him.

That was the second house he had been hit in.

That had ended spectacularly.

But the families had cared, had wanted him.

Or wanted him for a bit, wanted an ideal him, wanted a child but not a child like Tommy.

They wanted a doll, a bright eyed, bushy tailed teen ready to please. Someone to be their baby boy and do the chores on time and get good grades in school. They wanted a son with manners, who played games with friends, someone who participated in family movie night.

Tommy was half way through a growth spurt that had him tripping over his own feet more often than not. He gave up on school years ago and enjoyed drawing doodles in the corners of his notebook. He liked to go for runs, alone, with no one to bother him. He never really had the attention span to sit through an entire movie and always forgot to do the chores he was supposed to.

In short, no one wanted a kid like Tommy.

So house 8 it was.

"Phil has two other kids," his social worker tells him, "Both were a part of the foster system as well. Techno's 16, Wilbur is 17. They're nice people."

Tommy huffs, staring out the window at rolling hills.

"Tommy, I know this can't be easy. I know you've bounced around, but Tommy you are a good kid. Okay? I really think you're going to like it at Phil's."

"I'm just going to get into trouble," Tommy says.

Amelia hesitates, and Tommy knows she's trying to figure out what to say, because he has a point. Tommy always does something to mess up and he gets in trouble and then he's sent back.