WARNING: SPG
"Anak.. aalis na si Mama." Napalingon ako sa aking ina na nakatayo sa labas ng kwarto ko.
I furrowed my eyebrows then stood up.
Napansin ko rin ang kanyang malaking bag sa gilid.
"What? Why?" Pahina nang pahina na saad ko.
"Big boy ka naman na anak. Alam mo naman siguro ang nangyayari dito.."she was teary eyed while saying those things.
I knew exactly what she was telling me.
Magmula ng mamulat ako ay alam ko na ang sitwasyon sa bahay. My mother didn't hide anything from me. That my parents had an arranged marriage.
Hindi sila nagmamahalan pero dahil sa business ng mga parents nila ay napilitan silang magpakasal at magsama.
"Ma.." i said helplessly. I wanted so bad to tell her that I needed her. Pero kitang kita ko ang pursigido niyang ekspresyon sa mukha.
"Anak.. diba ilang beses ko nang sinabi na kung saka-sakaling may makilala kang magpapasaya sayo.. never let her go." She smiled sadly.
"I've met someone anak.." umiiyak niyang sabi.
Napalunok ako at naluha na rin. Dahil sa kanya.. iiwan ako ng mama ko? Dahil sa kanya.. mawawalan ako ng nanay?
Sino siya para agawin ang nanay ko sa akin?
"No! Please anak.. he doesn't know me yet. Baka nga hindi pa niya alam na nabubuhay ako sa mundong ito.."
"Then why leave? Hindi ka naman pala niya kilala." Naghihimagsik kong saad.
Napaiwas siya.
"For the first time in my pathetic life anak.. I wanted to be happy."
Parang may sumaksak sa puso ko.
So nung maisilang niya ako, hindi siya masaya?
Ni minsan hindi ko siya napasaya?
I looked away then swallowed hard.
"Fine. Go to him. Leave your son here."
Narinig ko ang pag iyak ng mama ko.
Nakaramdam ako ng awa pero mas gugustuhin kong ganito ako para hindi ko siya habulin.
If she badly wanted the happiness she was craving all her life.. then who am I to block it?
"Anak.. please unawain mo ako.. hindi mo kasi maintindihan ang nangyayari. I felt suffocated here.. i felt unwanted.. your father... your father.."hindi niya matapos tapos ang kanyang balak sabihin.
Tumango na ako.
"Go. I wish you luck and happiness Mother." I said then left her there.
Nananakit ang aking puso.
So imbes ipagpatuloy ang homework na ginawa ko, i went to HIS room and I turned all my pain to God.
Mula pagkabata ay nabuhay akong nasa tabi ang Diyos. My mother made me lean on him for everything.
But sadly.. the pain in my heart was still there as years passes by.
"Justin! What are you doing?" My father punched me when I shouted at my mother.
Naluluhang tinitigan ko lang silang dalawa.
My father came to my mother then caressed her softly.
After two years. After fucking two years ay bumalik ang ina ko para magpaka ina na naman sa akin.
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AMAIA
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