Weak For Him | DARKNESS SERIES #1 ✔️

Chapter 103

Laying on my bed curled up wearing Liam's clothes holding his letter to my chest I cry hard and feel myself drift off to sleep.

Waking up to my phone ringing I look at the number confused and answer.
"Hello?" I say in a low voice
"Baby.." I hear Liam's voice and the tears come back.
"Baby are you OK. I miss you so much" I tell him.
"I'm better now after hearing your voice" he says making me smile.
"I miss you too, I hated seeing you and not being able to come to you and hold you" he says and I wipe my eyes
"I'm sorry I cried so much. I couldn't help it. I hated seeing you up there" I tell him and he sighs heavily.
"It's OK baby, don't be sorry for crying because you love me. It makes me sad knowing your going through this. I need to see you and touch you" he tells me and my tears fall silently.
"I need to see you too, I miss you so much. I received your letter today and I've sent yours back" I tell him and I know he's smiling.
"I'll reply as soon as I get your letter, and put a visitation order in with it. I'm so happy you was there today, apart of me wondered if you'd be able to turn up" he says and I can hear the sadness in his voice.
"Of course I'd of come. It was my only way of seeing you I needed to be there for you Liam, it's been weeks I feel lost without you" I tell him and he sighs heavily again.
"I know the feeling baby, and to think I won't be out there with you for another three years it's breaking me not being able to be with you" he says and I can't stop the flow of tears happening.
"It's going to fly by like you said baby, you'll be out and with me before you know it. I'll visit as much as you'll see me and write to you daily and you can call me whenever you can, it's going to be OK because I love you" I tell him wiping my eyes trying to stay positive for his sake.
"I hope so baby I need to see you, hear you otherwise I'll go fucking crazy in here. And that won't be good for anyone. I need you to centre me like you always have, don't give up on me baby" he says sounding emotional.
"I'll never give up on you. I'm right here waiting for you when you get out. I'm going nowhere" I say honestly needing him to know.
"Thank you baby I needed to hear that, these past few weeks have been hard without you, I need you beautiful" he says and I feel the same way.
"I've gotta go now baby, I love you Stacey Johnson, I hope your ring gives you comfort untill I can" he says and I look at the rock on my finger smiling at it
"I love you too Liam Johnson never forget that, I'll see you soon as I get the order through. I can't wait baby" I tell him wishing he was here.
"I can't wait either, bye baby" he says and we hang up.
Staring at the ring on my finger I begin to cry again. I miss him so much.
Laying back on my bed my phone goes off again and I check it seeing a text from Sian.

Sian: I'm here if you need me babes day or night I love you girl Xx

Smiling at the text I reply quickly.

Stacey: Thanks babe it means alot that you was here for me today. I love you too Xx

Putting my phone back on the bedside table I grab my weed box and bill a spliff needing to relax myself and maybe a drink.
Getting up I run down stairs ignoring everybody and grab the bottle of gin from the cupboard. I'm sure my mum won't mind I thought shrugging and taking it back upstairs.
Sitting at my vanity I down a load and roll my spliff sparking it up I look at my tear streaked face and wipe under my eyes.
"You can do this Stacey, it's three years. What's three years compared to a lifetime after with him." I tell myself in the mirror downing more of the drink I smoke away and think how Liam hates this drink.

After finishing what was left in the bottle I sit on my bed with the folder Liam made and flip through it adding his letter to it and pull out another one that I hadn't read yet.

It's been four months since the last time I seen Stacey.
I'm going crazy not knowing where she is or what she's doing?
I don't know how much more of this I can handle.
I need her back in my life. I need to talk to her.
How the fuck did we get here? Why did I have to push her away?
I hate the way I am at times, why can't I just be normal and accept her love.
I want it.. Need it. She's all I think about.
Please come back to me baby..

Feeling my eyes water reading his old letter that I pick my spliff up and spark it needing it to calm my racing heart.
How could he think he's not normal or accepting of my love. It makes me sad that he didn't tell me any of this and hid everything from me. Why did he have to push me away? We came back to each other in the end to just be ripped apart again why? All for some pointless rival. Now look people are dead and most of them are locked up.
Three years Stacey.. I keep telling myself and look at my ring.
I will be Stacey Johnson one day!