I quickly went to open the door, but still looked towards the kitchen making sure everything was normal. I opened the door to see none other than my neighbor Jace.
"Hey girly, oh do I smell pizza?!" He walked inside my home. The audacity I swear.
"Yes please come in Jace, you're ever so welcome to come in and eat my pizza." He literally was hogging all the pizza. Prick.
"Oh cut the tude honey, you know you love me. I mean who wouldn't, look at me." He gestured to his body.
"I'm gonna go find a bucket to throw up in."
"Well when you come back, bring me a can of Coke sweetness." Sweetness my ass.
I went to the fridge still kind of paranoid about the whole thing, but with Jace here I felt safer. Don't ever tell him I said that. I grabbed a can of coke and got a glass, I poured the coke in there, but not without a secret ingredient, hot sauce and a lot of it. I mixed it in and gave it to him. I sat down next to him and he took a pause from eating My pizza, to take a sip of the normally normal Coca Cola.
"You know this tastes different than usual."
"Oh its just diet." I smiled wickedly
"That must-MY MOUTH OH MY GOD" he started screaming and drank more of it, he's such an idiot.
"Oh what's ever so wrong Jace?"
"My mouth, my - my mouth. I need water!!!"
"Oh calm down you little baby."
I went to the kitchen and grabbed a water bottle, but not without noticing my fridge was making this vibrating sound. Maybe it needs to get checked? I went back and gave him the water bottle and he drank it all down in one gulp. Someone's thirsty, pun intended.
"What the hell did you put in there?!" He was still panting from all that drinking, there was water dripping all over him, I couldn't help but laugh.
"Why are you laughing? You're evil, I could've died!"
I still continued laughing i was practically rolling around on the couch, while he was just glaring at me, probably killing me in his mind. I finally collected my cool and sat up.
"Well I just mixed the coke with love and well a little bit of hot sauce....."
"Seriously?! Why, why would you do that?"
"Because! No one comes in my home and eats my food without asking." It's my number one rule you know.
"Someone takes their food seriously, but I'm sorry Jade, never again will I hog your food without asking."
"See that's all I needed, with of course a bit of sweet revenge or should I say spicy." I winked at him and he was still glaring at me. I swear it's like his permenant facial expression
"Ha ha very funny." He said in a monotone voice.
"Thank you, thank you very much." I said in my best Elvis Presley impersonation, which is crappy actually. We both ended up laughing and continued watching twilight marathon, the last thing I saw was Taylor Lautners abs before seeing darkness.
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I woke up cramped and slightly cold from knocking out on the couch. I blinked up at the ceiling trying to remember when I fell asleep. As I stretched, my toes came in contact with something hard and wet. I scrunched up my eyebrows in confusion and wiggled my toes.
"What the Fuck Jade?!"
Startled I realized Jace was next to me and my toes.... my toes were in his mouth!
"Ewww ewwwww!" I immediately jumped off the couch and rubbed my feet against the floor.
Jace walked into the bathroom and washed his teeth as I tried to sanitize my spit covered toes.
"Do you have a foot fetish or something, cause let me tell you girl I'm not into that."
I looked up at Jace incredulously.
"NO!" I yelled shaking my head. "Anyways if I did why would I share it with you, your DNA is all over my little piggys , you nasty troll!"
Jace held his hand over his heart.
"How dareth you call me a troll, if anything I'm the princess and you're the evil queen that's trying to steal my mouth's virginity. "
I picked up my shoe and threw it at his head.
"Ouch you bitch."
I rolled my eyes. "I'm a fabulous princess warrior who protects innocent piggys from your nasty witch mouth and besides get off your high horse I didn't want to get in your mouth anyways."
He gasped dramatically and put a hand to his head as if fainting.
"You know you should really go into theatrics, it fits you because you're such a drama queen. "
He raised an eyebrow as if saying 'really'.
Then slowly his smile grew evilly, like the grinch when he came up with the idea to steal Christmas. My eyes widened.
"Oh no no No, whatever you're thinking , No! "
"Yes, yes, YES!"
He ran towards me and picked me up like a sack of potatoes before I could register what was happening.
"Let me go! I will yell rape!!"
"It's not rape if you enjoy it." He was still carrying me, to I don't even know where. He opened the door to the hallway and was going down the stairs.
"Where are you taking me?!"
"You don't need to know honey."
"Excuse me, I think I do when it involves me getting carried upside down, the blood is rushing to my head now."
"Who's the drama queen now." Oh I'll show him drama queen. I began pounding on his back.
"Help!! Help! Someone! This boy is kidnapping me! Please someone!"
"Are you serious shut up!" He slapped my butt. Oh no he didn't.
"You did not just-" I was cut off by me being thrown into the neighborhood pool.
"Are you serious?!" I was wet from head to toe in my pajamas. He was just rolling around laughing.
"Now we're even, so you can't get revenge. Later Jade." He winked and left me in the water. At least it wasn't a cold night.
The next day I woke up extra early to call my fridge's company. Something's fishy with this fridge and I will get to the bottom of this fish.
"Hi is the Lunar Appliances company?"
"Yes how may I help you."
"Well my fridge has been acting weird lately."
"Well how would you describe this weirdness mam?"
"It's been making these vibrating noises at time."
"Oh that's normal, fridges do that sometimes."
"Also it's opening by itself, like the door would open by it self and it would restock my food."
"Okay is this another prank call about my refrigerator running, cause I can tell you its not funny. Good day." He hung up, he actually hung up on me. I mean it's not that crazy to think my fridge opens by itself and restocks by it self. Okay maybe it is just a little, but I'm not crazy!
I grab strawberries from the fridge and look for the chocolate syrup.
"Hello Jade, how's your day so far?" I freeze and look around.
"Uhh who said that?"
"Me, your fridge, duh."
My eyes widen and next thing I know everything fades to blackness.
