Weak For Him || Darkness Book #1 ✔️

Chapter 88 | Unconditional Love

Stacey's Pov

Walking back out into the garden joints in hand with a lighter, I hear Liam on the phone.
"I can't do this anymore, I need out of this fucking house, I might as well go back to prison. What's the point?" he says and I freeze. What the fuck? Did I do all this?
"I understand what your saying but I don't care, yes she's helping but she can't live this way, this is no life for her. She's perfect and should be out there taking the world by storm, not locked up here with me" he spits annoyed at whatever the person said to him. He looks up seeing me and looks away.
"I need to go, yeah okay, bye" he says and puts the phone back into his pocket.
"Baby don't do this please, here, smoke this" I tell him offering him a joint.
"I don't need a fucking joint, I need you to get what you deserve Stacey. This isn't going to be your fucking life, another week and I'm handing myself in" he tells me bluntly and I drop to my knees putting my head down because he's naming me angry and I wanna scream.
"No! You're thinking about your fucking self! Not me and what I fucking want!" I scream at him as my tears break through soaking my face. I can't hold them back any longer..
"Fuck. Stop crying, please stop crying! It has to happen Stacey you know this already. What was you expecting?" he asks and I can't stop the overflow of emotions.
"I don't fucking know" I yell at him through my tears because shit, I don't!
"I don't deserve you baby, you're to good for me. You need better. I'm just fucked and I'm fucking your life up with my shit. It would of been better if I just died that day" he says pissed and I look up at him angrily standing and instantly fly towards him.
"Dont you ever fucking say that, you stupid, stupid bastard, you hearing me. Never fucking say that again. You're being fucking selfish.. It's always what you want. What about fucking me and what I want, Liam" I scream at him and he grabs my flying hands from him and pins them behind my back. I struggle against his hold and break down crying again.
"Please never say that" I tell him shaking my head. Why would he think that way?
"I'm being selfish by keeping you here" he says but I continue to shake my head violently.
"I'm choosing to be here Liam, you're not fucking forcing me. I want this. I want you" I tell him emotional.
"Fuck, stop using my love for you against me, you know what I'm saying is right. You should be living your life.. Not stuck in this place with me" he says and I rip my hands from his grasp and slap his face hard..
"That's it, want to hurt me. Go with that and turn it to hate, hate me instead it would be easier" he tells me and slap him again before I step away from him.
"I can't do this" I tell him walking away back into the house, just because he doesn't want a joint, I fucking do.

***

Laying on the bed, tear streaked face and two joints later, I stare up at the ceiling and think about what Liam said.
Is he being serious about handing himself in? I can't let him do that. Not again. I silently cry and curl up hugging myself when the door opens and I see Liam enter.
"Baby, don't be sad. It's the right thing to do and you know that" he says sitting on the bed next to me.
"I'm broken, damaged and a criminal baby, a fucking scumbag you can't and shouldn't love me" he tells me and I cry more into my pillow at his vile words. Why does he keep saying these things. I don't understand.
"Well I do and I will never stop Liam, I can't help how I feel, I love you so much" I tell him honestly and he take my hand in his.
"I fucking love you Stacey, and I want you more than anything, but you deserve better than me, I'm beneath you baby" he says and I sit up looking at him.
"Stop saying things that aren't true. You're putting words into my mouth when I don't think any of them things baby" I tell him and he grabs my hand again looking at me.
"Please stop making this hard. All I want to do is hold you when I should be making you leave" he says and I shake my head at him.
"I'm not leaving you Liam, I can't and I don't want to. I want to be with you" I cry again and he wipes my tears.
"Stop please, you're fucking with me when you need to leave and all I want is to make you stay" he says and I look at him, like really look at him. I don't want to leave him. But wait..
"I'm fucking with you? You're the most confusing guy I fucking know! You love me and want me but want me to leave. What the fuck Liam!?" I say pissed and he sighs running a hand down his face.
"I do love you and want you baby, and I don't want you to leave but I know you should. Its the right thing" he says and I shake my head again..
"Stop talking about leaving. I'm not going anywhere, Liam. I'm being serious! I'm staying with you" I tell him sternly and sniffle, wiping the never ending tears.
"Why do you have to be so stubborn and love me unconditionally, I don't deserve it" he says and I cross my arms being just that.
"Exactly, so, I'm going nowhere, get that through your fucking head. I. Love. You. Liam. Johnson!" I say loudly nut he's shaking his head, pacing. Fuck.
"NO! You're making my head and heart be at war. I know what the right thing to do is, but I love you too much to send you away" he says and a tear betrays me and slides down my cheek.
"Then listen to your heart like I did when I gave you another chance Liam, don't send me away again. I won't be able to handle it" I tell him and he looks emotional and his eyes are teary.
"I want to love you and be what you need baby but we both know that won't happen while I'm on the run" he says and I slowly nod agreeing with him.
"Why a week?" I ask him and he sighs.
"So I'm in some what fighting fit, baby. I need to be able to defend myself, I won't lie to you, I know it's gonna go down when I get back inside. I'm just hoping I come back out" he says and I shake my head. He can't do this!
"I won't let you hand yourself back in when you're not a hundred percent and end up getting yourself killed! It's not happening Liam" I tell him seriously but he clenches his jaw.
"So you agree I should go back when I'm ready?" he just says, only listening to that part.
"I don't want you to leave me but if we want to be happy and normal, you have to don't you?" I tell him and he nods slowly dropping his head. I hate this, why can't we just be happy together.
"Yes baby, I don't want to leave you either, but what can I do? I want a life with you.. A proper one not this" he says waving his arms around. I understand what he means. But that doesn't mean I like it...
"Okay" is all I say. What else can I even say, he's gonna do it either way.
"Okay? You're letting me go for us to have a better life when I'm out?" he says raising his brow but I can see the sadness in his eyes.
"Okay I'm letting you go back.. But when I think you're good enough, none of this week shit, you understand?" I tell him raising my brow back being deadly serious.
"Okay baby, I can work with that. Whenever you say" he says coming over and sitting with me and I smile leaning into him as he cuddles me.
Our relationship is so fucked up but I love him unconditionally like he said, so what is one meant to do? I'll never walk away from him.