[JackBarakat] You're The One [Spin-Off | I'm The Only One]

I don’t know what I just did, what I did, not just, it happened last night, maybe earlier this morning, I don’t really know, I wasn’t looking at the clock.

He’s not here. I'm so stupid. I shouldn’t have done this. Everything is going to change now. And it’s all my fault. I shouldn’t, I know better, this isn't like me.

It was his birthday, yesterday. Alex was there, but it didn’t stop me from going to my best friend’s birthday party. At the bar. It was a club, actually. Either way, it was gross.

Every year, I find myself in the same club for his birthday. It’s been a while since he’s had a girlfriend when it was his birthday.

Part of me thinks that he likes it. He likes that on his birthday he can be someone else for a little while and get with someone who he doesn’t have to deal with the next day.

And I would have been fine with that, if that girl wasn’t me this year.

Maybe it was because I was so uncomfortable, being there, seeing Alex, I don’t know, I shouldn’t have had that much to drink.

My tolerance is low. All I drink is wine, and that’s only when I'm at a gallery opening. Everything I drink is hard to get wasted from, and I don’t drink a lot of it to begin with.

I'm not stupid, I remember what shirt he was wearing last night, and he must have forgotten it, must have just put on the polo he was wearing over it, because it’s on the chair in my room.

It’s not how I expected things to go, not really, not at all, actually. This is going to ruin things, make everything so awkward, and I can’t think of anything other than how horrible this feels.

He left.

He woke up without clothes on and he got dressed and left.

I'm not stupid. It’s not like I won’t piece it together.

“I really don’t want to go.” Shrugging my shoulders, I bite down on my lower lip, watching as Ryan knits her eyebrows together, confused. “I don’t want to play babysitter if I don’t have to.”

Raising an eyebrow, she sighs heavily. “Then don’t play babysitter. Go and have a good time. You can’t miss out on his birthday celebration on his birthday.”

She’s right, and I wish she wasn’t. I don’t want to go. Nothing about going sounds enticing, like something that I want to do.

It’s stupid. Every single year we go to the same stupid club for his birthday to watch him get shitfaced and bring some random girl home.

I don’t want to watch him with some other girl. And, deep down, I think that I always felt that way. Maybe that was the pang in my heart that I always felt at the end of the night.

“So, I’ll give him a present tomorrow or something. I don’t understand why I have to deal with this. I don’t want to see Alex and I don’t want to see Jack with another girl.”

I shouldn’t have said that. That was stupid. She didn’t know. No one knows. Now she knows. She’s going to hate me for not telling her.

Biting down on my lower lip, I force a smile to tug at the ends of my lips, trying to make it look as if I said nothing out of the ordinary.

But, she caught onto it. “You like Jack. I should have seen this coming.”

I can’t believe this happened. I don’t even know how we got back to the apartment. This isn't good, at all.

If Alex finds out, I, I don’t even know what would happen. He would flip out. Granted, we’re not together and I don’t owe him anything, it’s, just, I don’t want to come between him and Jack.

And Jack, I ruined his birthday. He must be freaking out. He wasted his birthday celebration on me, some girl who is one of his best friends, who means nothing more than that to him.

“You look like you could use a drink.” He rests his arm on the counter of the bar beside my hands, turning his body to the side, facing me, a smile on his face.

Wrinkling my nose, I shake my head, yet I find myself smiling at the sight of him. I couldn’t find him earlier, and I didn’t bother to look. There are so many people here that it was pointless to try to find one person.

Tilting his head to the side, he nods his head. “You look stressed, Lo. There’s no way that I'm going to let you be stressed on my birthday.”

Shaking my head, yet again, I sigh softly. “I don’t want to drink, Jack. I’d rather not.” He always does this, every single year, and then leaves when I refuse.

Only, this time, he isn't leaving. He usually leaves now, after my second refusal. “Then I'm going to sit here until you do.”

He sits down on the empty stool next to mine, his leg bouncing up and down quickly, he’s growing restless; he’s had a few drinks already.

“Jack, go and enjoy your birthday.”

“I am enjoying it.” His words are dragged out, slow, I'm not stupid and that’s my problem. I can catch onto his lie and that’s my problem because I want him to enjoy his birthday.

Combing my fingers through my hair, I bite down on my lower lip. “Get me a drink, Jack.”

It all went downhill from there. I don’t even know how many drinks I had. That sounds terrible. I mean, I didn’t have a lot. I don’t feel sick. But, I had enough to not realize that I was sleeping with my best friend, who happens to be my ex-boyfriend’s best friend, who I like, on his birthday.

Jack is going to pretend that nothing happened.

I'm going to pretend that nothing happened, I guess.

This whole thing, I wish it didn’t happen. They can’t find out. Oh, my god, they would be, I don’t even know.

Besides, I’ve been wrong about who “the one” was before. Maybe this will pass.

I doubt it.