Unholy abominations

Blumeowser - Cat

TRIGGER WARNING FOR TECHNACALLY INTOLERANT/BIGOT BLECK. IF THE SUBJECT IS YOUR TRIGGER, DO NOT READ. IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO READ ABOUT BLECK BEING CLOSE MINDED, DO NOT READ! HE LEARNS HE'S WRONG BUT STILL! Also this is a first draft idiots lmao

Blumiere had not seen Bowser anywhere, he checked back home and is currently checking the castle. A surprise, of sorts, was set up for the lord. 

"Bowser...? What are you wearing?"

Bowser, on all fours, perked up. "Oh! Its just a power-up!"

"Power...up?"

"Yeah! I can climb stuff now!"

Really now? As a cat?! " Are you even comfortable in a cat suit?"

"Yup! It's really soft 'n fuzzy! C'mon! Pet me!"

Count Bleck froze in shock. He's pretending to be a damn animal! Why would i ever want him to belittle himself in such a way?! "I would rather not! I do NOt want to encourage this self belittlement!"

"Excuse me, punk?"

Now what upstanding warlord is he to treat me like a stranger when i so little as respect his integrity? And scold him for this...mental sickness symptom?! "Well how about you excuse me, knave!"

"The heck could you call me a 'knave' for, anyway? Its just an act, I'm going along with the joke this power up puts me in."

"You aren't- I simply-"

"DUDE! If im gonna look ridiculous in a suit that gives me ultra softness and the ability to climb, i might as well take in stride 'nNAYvVE'!"

"i just-" An utter sign in defeat, he mutters "Do you not actually think you're a cat?"

"No? I just roll with the suit."

"Do you know how revered you are?"

"Yeah? What, can i not be myself just because I'm important?"

Well that cut deep. "You cannot simply-"

"Yeah yeah, 'my dad forced me into nobility', yadda yadda, 'i never felt 'individualism'', whatever that means, blah blah blah. Well guess what? I don't have any neck breathin' parents, I can ACT how i WANT most of the time! If you don't like it, think about the fact im DIFFERENT. Doofus!"

"You..."

"What, would you rather me go through the same stuff? Just so you can feel better?" A growl escapes his throat, a bit too dedicated to the act. "Do you honestly think we'll act the same? YOu're a posh, tophat wizard weirdo from heck knows where, and I'm a big, scary koopa with my own darn army! You got the uhh...uhhhh... 

"...They're called perfectionis-"

"Not my parents! They aint my kinda parents! So we ended up different! I know fun and you don't! It's my responsibility as a fun-knower to teach ya!"

"I'd rather have a shred of-"

"'hONor? iNTegrITy'?! Who cares? If anything, you should be the fun-seeker! I have an army to keep loyal and you DON'T! I'm not even capturin' Peach or somethin'; I'm in a CAT SUIT!"

"Goodness- Bowser, I love you, i really do, but this hedenism-"

"Shut it with the big words! You're just mad your fun having limit is small and mine aint! Or, hey, wait a minuite..." Boswer put on a thinking face, purring all the while.

The purring stopped "Have you thought fun was a bad thing all this time? Did your parents...uhh, how to put it...tell ya fun was a bad thing?"

No...He can't be right...

"I would never go back to their ways-"

"Well you're stuck in 'em, then! i know my job now; reverse that stuff!"

He was right. Any healthy amount of selfishness was forced out of him in place of fulfilling old duties. The past may be gone, but scars still remain.