Weak For Him || Darkness Book #1 ✔️

Chapter 97 | Selfless

Liam's Pov

After another shitty nights sleep. I'm struggling without my queen.. But she's happy and thriving. As I keep trying to remind myself. That's what she deserves. I love her more than enough to let her have that. I can't be selfish with her even though I really want to.
Today's like any other day. Everyday is like being in a war zone, anything could happen. I'm constantly on guard for my life. Relaxing will get me killed. Literally..
But right now, I sit on my bed, notepad and pen in hand and start writing to my mama.

Hello mama,
I know you're worried about me but I'm good, mama. I just need you to think about yourself and staying strong, that's all that matters. I can't not see you again. I didn't mean for all this to happen and I'm sorry that I'm like this. I'm sorry I fuck up, and make everything difficult. I just don't know how to be other than.. this. I don't wanna be in here forever, I wanna see you and live my life, I wanna make you proud, mama!

"Breakfast time, Johnson" a screw calls banging on my door. Fuck, I can't be bothered with this shit today but I do need to eat. I'll finish the letter later as I push my mama to back of my mind.
Walking out my cell, I stay vigilant and make my way to the canteen just observing my surroundings hoping no one starts because I'm in no mood.
Standing in the line holding my tray, I see someone I was hoping to avoid and I sigh heavily. And the day begins..
Continuing to wait, I just feel him staring at me then walking straight at me. Fuck sake man.. What do I do now? I know what I want to do, but shit.
"Alright, Johnson, let's go" he says coming in with his hands up ready to swing at me. Fucksake, I swing my tray into his face and land a perfect left hook, knocking him the fuck out. The next thing I know I'm being grabbed by the screws and pushed and pinned against the wall with my arms behind my back. So not my morning.. I miss my joint, and my queen with her amazing breakfast.. Sighing, I'm dragged out and back down the hole.. more isolation for me. This is gonna be fun I thought, rolling my eyes.

***

Siting on the concrete floor, I think how the fuck did I end up here when he started it. Some joke this shit place is.
I need to stay focused though and keep my mind busy. I decide to work out doing a few sit ups then push ups until I can't feel my arms and I drop on my face, panting heavily. Fuck..
I think about what my queen would be doing right now and smile knowing she'd be baking away ready to open up. So the thought of her standing there in her element with that beautiful smile on her face makes me feel better some how. If she can't have me, she'll have everything else she wants or needs. I will guarantee that for my baby.
I can't wait for the day she walks down the aisle to me in her beautiful dress, it will be perfect because everything is when I'm with her. Nothing else matters, it's just us, and I'll happily allow myself to get lost in her for hours, thinking about Paris and the folder contents. I'll never be happy with anybody but Stacey. There's just something about her. I just feel complete and better with my queen. Because all I need is her love.
I think about her leading me to the pool in the mansion the first time we had sex again and my dick stats to grow, I think about how tight and perfect my treasure is and how happy I felt to be finally home. Fuck.
My dicks rock hard and I pull it out and slowly imagine my baby teasing me the night we played truth or dare playing with herself. Forcing me to watch, that turned me on then, just as much as it does now.
Then I tasted her. Fuck she tasted herself. I build up the speed with my strokes thinking about what happened next when I took out my dick and rubbed it across her lips and she couldn't help herself from there because she dared me not to put it in her mouth and I failed.. miserably like she knew I would. But she sucked it if only for a few times but fuck the way she winked at me made me lose my fucking mind.
"Fuck!" I grit out suddenly cumming hard, lost in the memory of us. I clean myself up and sit back down hoping to get out of here soon.

***

"Johnson, you're heading back to your cell, no more of that behaviour otherwise you'll be down here for a month" The Governor says opening the door and looking at me.
"Understood" I tell him and walk behind him.

***

After having a shower being watched by a screw, I quickly wash off the sweat and dry myself, wrapping the towel around my body. He leads me back to my cell and I pull on my sweatpants and lay down starving. And then I think of my baby's cooking and my mouth salivates. I smile wide thinking she's perfect in all ways. How could she honestly love someone like me.
I grab my notepad and pen and flip to a fresh page deciding to just write it down. I need to get it all these consuming thoughts out.

I don't understand how someone like Stacey ever looked twice at someone like me. I mean.. I get that I'm delicious to look at but I'm the typical bad boy, the criminal.
Stacey is top tier in everyway and should be conquering her dreams like she currently is without me. She is doing what she's always wanted to and I'm not there getting in the way. She needs me to set her free until I'm a free man myself. I can't keep dragging her down with me when she deserves the world and I keep giving her nothing but shit. I refuse to be anything but the best for her and I'll always put my queen first, no matter how that affects me..