Butterflies (boyxboy)

Chapter 27: Impatient

"You've been distant Tam. I'm just wanting to close the gap a little"
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"You have paint on your cheek." Blake says with a slight grin on his face as he looks up at Tamesh. His expression deep in artist mode, tongue slightly protruding in concentration. 

Tamesh takes his brush free hand and rubs it against the offending cheek, smearing red acrylic paint across his face. "I'll wash it off later.' He replies.

"Well I can always help." Blake suggests, raising an eyebrow. It had been a week since their first kiss and things hadn't progressed as  Blake had hoped.  As a consequence, he was using any excuse to get just that little bit closer, but Tamesh was still so reserved and like a closed book. 

"Behave! I'm working." Tamesh smiles as he again continues with his painting. "You know, the portrait is almost done." He adds. The phrase portrays one of accomplishment but also sadness at the fact that this would soon be over. 

Blake gives a weak smile. Feeling the same emotion as Tamesh. They had both been using this time as an excuse, a reason to spend time together no matter what. After this time would end, it would all be on them to see what they had, if anything would last. "You are bound to make a fortune out of my gorgeous face." He jests.

"You just can't help yourself can you." Tamesh rolls his eyes. But an element of truth rang within his words. He hoped the image would create much needed attention to his artistry, after all, that was the point of this in the first place.

"Well I'd say I most definitely earned my seascape." Blake adds as he stretches his limbs a little in the seat, seeing that Tamesh was wanting to take a break, as he moves away from the canvas, heading to the sink to dampen a cloth in order to clean his paint splattered face. 

He is so focused on getting clean, that he doesn't hear the bare feet pad on the floorboards behind him. He suddenly gets a shiver when he feels a warm breath fanning over his neck and two hands wrapping around his hips. "What are you up to?" Tamesh asks cautiously. He knew the model was still naked and that in itself was presently scaring the hell out of him, but coupled with his current proximity, Tamesh was struggling with his instincts to turn around and act. 

"You've been distant Tam. I'm just wanting to close the gap a little." Blake almost purrs in Tamesh's ear, making the hormones within him go crazy.

"I...I...just step back a little." Tamesh manages to muster. He feels the warmth and closeness of the touch leave him and instinctively exhales a breath. He turns to see Blake standing behind him. Naked, but with a sad expression painted across his face. 

"What is this?" Blake questions, heading to the chair to grab his long coat to wrap around him. Not for one minute breaking his gaze with the artist. 

"What do you mean?" Tamesh tried to sound innocent in his response, but he knew full well what Blake was getting at. 

Blake sighs, once again taking a step forward. "You know I like you Tam and I know you like me, but when will you open up to me? Whatever it is you are keeping from me, it's somehow interfering with the intimacy and it's fucking driving me insane!"

Tamesh leans back on the sink he was just using as he looks at Blake. "I thought you would wait. You said you'd be patient with me Blake, I…" he cannot finish the line. Why was it so difficult for him?  Maybe he should try to explain. Maybe the time was now. He closes his eyes and utters two words. "My mother." 

Blake freezes at the inkling of the truth coming out. "Your mother…", he repeats as if to prompt Tamesh into continuing. 

"Yes my mother." Tamesh continues. "She was not the most loving of people and as for my father, well, I don't know who he is. I can only guess whatever happened between them is why she was the way she was with me growing up and why she always said the words, 'Don't fall in love Tamesh. Whatever you do, don't fall in love. It will kill you." 

Blake furrows his brow at the apparent phrase Tamesh's mother had told him. "Don't fall in love? Tam, falling in love is the most natural thing in the world! Why would she say that?"

Tamesh sighs, shrugging his shoulders. "She's always said it, right from an early age, I mean not all the time, but yeah. Don't fall in love, it will kill you." He repeats the phrase again, as if it's been imprinted in his brain. 

Blake still doesn't quite believe what he's hearing. "Tam, people fall in love all the time and sometimes it turns to shit and it's horrible, but you don't die." 

"Yeah I know." Tam smiles a little sheepishly. He then looks into the distance as if in deep thought. "It was the way she looked at me though, when she said it. It was like she wanted to protect me, but hated me at the same time." 

Blake tries to catch Tamesh's far away stare. "Hey, did you ever know anything about your father? I mean, he must have messed her up real good for her to drum this shit into you." 

Tamesh shakes his head. "Not really. There were moments, usually when she had been drinking when she would bring him up, just briefly. She would often say he was one of a kind, so I guess she must have felt something for him."

Blake looks at Tamesh, waiting for his far away stare to shift slightly to meet his gaze, which eventually it does. They look at eachother. "So…" Blake utters, "Where doesn't this leave us?"