Hi, my name is Mackinze, but you can call me Mac or Kinze. Im 15, a freshmen and high school, and I have a problem with crushes. I have a very best friend, and her name is Skylar. She is always talking about who she likes, and who likes her, and even who likes me. I am compleatly against the idea of someone liking me.
Reason numero uno, I amd not cursh worthy. Number two, I have philophobia. Thats a fear of flling in love or being love. I've been like this for as long as I can rember.
I think it all started when i was four. My grandparents lived with us. I loved my grandma more then anything. That year she died, and I never really got over it. My grandpa also dided that year, and that put a big hole in my heart. The year before this I lost My sister. There was a problem during birth so she died shortly after she was born.
I remeber stay up late sitting on my grandmas lap telling her about what a great big sister i was going to be. I all ready had an older brother so now i was going to get a sister. I would dream about how she would look, what she would be like. When I found out I wasen't going to have a sister I was really confused. Remeber I was only three. I thought she was stuck in my moms belly, That they werent trying hard enough to get her out. I never got that sister.
A year after my sister died just before my sister died, I got a little brother. I got to be that big sister, but I still wonder what it would be like to have that sister.
I loved her before I met her and I never got to meat her. I loved my grandparents, and they died too. Now picture what this does to a six year old. I never got to meet my moms dad, he died when she was 22. I hear amazing stories though. My mom told me about how he was in some small movies. I guess thats where I get my love of acting from. I love my grandma to bits. She teaches me so much and is really intresting.
She remarried when my mom was like 30. My granpa is really awsome. He takes me shooting and fishing, he teaches me cool trick and tells me old stories. He may not technically be my grandpa but he the best I could ever ask for. He's definately my grandpa in my book.
My grandma was diagnosed with breast cancer a year ago , and her health has been shaky ever seince. I guess you can see where my fear comes from. It seems like everyone I've ever loved, thats ever been really imporant to me has left. Now theres still my best friend and my brothers and parents so I'm not totally alone right?
A/n sorry for the sucky first chapter, keep reading it will get better this is just the backround info. Also they will get longer. I promise. Love ya
