Weak For Him | DARKNESS SERIES #1 ✔️

Chapter 145 Liam's POV

Today's the day I push my baby away for good. Why the fuck am I doing this?
I need to let her go to live her life.. I tell myself over and over but it doesn't change the fact I don't want to. I want to keep her to myself and not have to hear about her and Victor. She says she thinks of me and it's just sex but I know my baby. She's gonna need more than that sooner or later.
"Fuckkk!" I hit the wall and pace my cell. I have to do this. She deserves to be happy without me. She needs to forget about me for a while. But I'll never forget her. She's what keeps me going in here, how do I tell her that I've been given an extra year for my part in the incident that happened. Fuck she's gonna break down I just know it. My beautiful baby. I keep making her cry when all I want is to see her smile. My queen. The thought of her being lonley and miserable breaks my heart. Why can't I be the same bad animal to her like I can everyone else. It would make it so much easier to do this. Instead she makes me feel weak and vulnerable from the first time I saw her. Nothings changed from that first day. Sighing I get up as I hear footsteps knowing there coming to collect me to see her. My baby.. I take a deep breath and step out of my cell and follow the guard.

Standing at the door waiting to enter through it. I feel my heart pounding like it's about to come through my chest. My palms are clammy and I'm so fucking excited but anxious to be seeing her after nearly a year. Has she changed?
How do I play this because I really want to kiss her and hold her but that's just gonna confuse the fuck out of her. I've fucking friend zoned myself but I really want to kiss her even if it is for the last time.. For now.
The door opens and I scan the room finding her standing there waiting for me. Fuck me I'm melting for her already. She looks perfect. How am I going to do this now. Shit!
I walk over to her feeling drawn and I grab her waist to pull her closer as I kiss her forcefully just needing to do it. Needing her.
I slide my tongue into her mouth and she moans tasting me and I feel my dick twitch.
Fuck! I've missed her. Pulling away far to soon she looks up at me breathless and sighs smiling at me.
"Hi baby" she says and hugs me tight, I wrap my arms around her holding her against me. I've missed this.
"Hello baby, I've missed your beautiful face" I tell her and feel my heart breaking knowing it's going to be awhile before I see it again. Pulling apart before getting told to for once I sit down just looking at her.
"I've missed your smile, you look so happy and well in yourself" I tell her happy for her but sad. I can see shes definitely moved on. She's not sad and miserable with me but happy with Victor. Like he always said. Never mind it's what's best for her, I'll always put her first.
"I've missed you so much baby, slow down with the muscles too, your getting to big baby" she tells me and blushes looking me over. All I do is workout now in this prison. It helps alot with my anger issues, I've already had time added on. I really don't want anymore, because if that happens I'll never leave.
"I'm embracing the beast within beautiful" I tell her feeling confident. Man know I have strength and I can scrap if I need to but now they all back away. I'm enjoying that. I'm more relaxed in this prison but still on guard. You never know.
"Why the change Liam., you've gone from talking to wanting to see me. Not that I'm complaining baby" she says and I sigh I knew she'd want to know. She's not stupid and I know she can read me in this prison.. "I do need to talk to you and I thought I'd tell you face to face" I say and I know it's time to just get it out there and I know she's gonna cry. I can already see it.
"I was ment to tell you this but it was your birthday and I didn't want to ruin it.. Then the longer I left it the harder it was to get it out but I need to tell you baby" I start and sigh. She looks at me teary eyes.
"Go on.." she says and crosses her legs looking at me
"I got another year added to my sentence" and I instantly see tears. Fuck!
"No, baby no tears, stay smiling please" I tell her as I hold back my own emotions. This is not the time or place for me to be breaking down.
"It doesn't change anything Liam, what's another year" she says wiping her eyes and gives me a small smile..
"Exactly baby, changes nothing. Your still going to live your life and not look back" I tell her and the way she looks at me is breaking my heart like she knows I'm pushing her away.
"Please be happy and content as you call it.. Don't stop smiling and never settle for being lonely or miserable my queen, the thought alone breaks my heart" I tell her my prepared speech and she just looks at me so I continue.
"I'm not pushing you away, I'm letting you go beautiful until I can be the man you deserve. I'll never stop waiting to marry you Stacey Johnson" I tell her and she crys.
"I don't want you to let me go.. We are fine the way we are Liam. Don't ruin it" she says and I sigh. She can't give herself to anybody if I'm still in the picture.
"So tell me about Victor. Could you be happy with him?" I ask her not even wanting to hear the answer but I needed to change the subject.
"I want to be happy with you, not him" she says wiping under her eyes and looking away.
"You was happy with him before I came along right?" I ask her knowing she was because she told me that day in the café.
"That's not the point or the same. I love you not him.. I'll never love him the same" she tells me and I sigh. Its good to know but not fucking helpful.
"This is the last time you will see me untill I'm out beautiful" I drop it and she gapes at me horrified.. Shit!
"You can't be fucking serious.. This again Liam.." she sighs dropping back into her seat. Looking at her now and all I want to do is laugh. God please help me.
"I love that you want to wait for me but I need you to do this for me. I'll find you when I'm out I promise you that baby" I reassure her and she nods slowly. Am I getting through to her..
"And you promise to be good and not add anymore time on?" she asks and I smile at her.
"If you promise to move on and do as I say I promise that I'll be out when I should be now" I tell her and she smiles.
"And I'll be waiting for that day to come when you walk back into my life Liam" she says leaning foward to touch me. I grab her hand and kiss the back of it looking into her eyes.. She actually seems to be on board with this and stopped crying.
"Time's up everyone" the guard calls and I sigh. This is it untill I'm out.
"Can't wait untill the day I see you again my queen be happy and smile for me" I tell her feeling emotional. I breathe through it and kiss her for the last time with everything I have.
"I love you Stacey Johnson, carry that with you everyday like you do my ring" I tell her running my thumb over the rock smiling.
"I promise I'll never take it off Liam not untill the day you change it, I love you soo much baby, I promise to be happy while I love you. I'll miss you everyday" she tells me and crys.
"Thank you baby please do, I'll miss you like crazy" I tell her kissing her again. I hug her tightly to my body and just hold her.
"Johnson, come on" the guard tells me and I sigh kissing her quickly again.
"Goodbye beautiful, smile" I tell her and I know she's watching me walk away.
I had to do it. It was the right thing to do. I think..