(you can skip this if you want it's just waffle, story continues next chapter)
I'm.. tired.
I loved this. I loved this channel. Making puns, annoying my friends, all of that...
But that's it. I loved it. It's all become so tiresome.
I'm losing sight of who I was..what I was..
I wasn't always like this, being hesitant.
I'm..an orange..and people say that I'm annoying. They can say what they want, I'm certainly not boring but.. can I keep up the facade?
I don't love Passion. She was just my co-worker, and nothing beyond that. I cant even call her my acquaintance; we barely see each other.
It's just an acting role. It shouldn't be so hard for me... but I'm lying to millions of people.
They don't know I'm acting.
To them, I'm just the Annoying Orange who says nya nya and makes fart jokes.
That's all I thought I was.
The character consumed me. I thought it was normal..I thought that was fine..
Pear was never consumed by his character. Was it even a character? Maybe he played it up a bit for the camera. They all did. I've never Grapefruit lift weights once, and Midget Apple...actually, he probably is that small.
I always admired how Pear was so level-headed. I thought I just wanted to be like him. That's what I thought, it seemed so normal but Pear..is boring.
Pear is so boring, it actually hurts. He thinks the library is fun, and he reads books. He thinks being responsible is a personality trait and he gets annoyed by my puns..
Everyone gets annoyed at my puns, but it's different when it's Pear.
That's why I was so excited when we started HOW2. Me and Pear's own series. Just us. Maybe the others would appear occasionally but that was fine. It was still our series.
Kissing Passion.
That's where I draw the line.
Those YouTube commenters...so eager to see their ship..and I would have been fine with it but...
It just feels wrong...
Am I wrong for not wanting to do this? It's just acting after all, but..
I've really changed...
I can't help it.
