Short Story
Live Not Leave
Sitting in front of this Green Board, with friends by my side, pleasant professors, and lovely weather, everything looks fine...nothing to worry about. Her name is Precious Z. Tamargo a Grade 12 student. She gazed at the clock, waiting for the bell to ring at 5 p.m., and then she rushed into the Complex, removing her backpack, putting on her airpods, and walked joyfully into the 400m oval, feeling the cool breeze of the time. You can feel the joy on her face as the chilly air brushed her face, walk, walk, walk, and stroll, as if she was never tired.
She looked at her watch after an hour of walking and started running to her luggage. She was going to leave the Complex with no one by her side when she turned around, took a deep breath, and shouted, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Everyone glanced at her, confused, but all she did is walk towards the exit. Precious was sitting at the vehicle shed, waiting for an available tricycle; one stopped at her but she rejected it; it was around 7 p.m. and a jeep unexpectedly stopped at her; she went up and seated.
She's late again; she should be riding tricycle, but she chose to ride in the jeep. Except for herself, no one knew what she was up to. Kichona is a very outgoing person, yet felt empty at some point. She enjoys chatting with her friends, but one part of her personality has changed; she no longer enjoys talking at home.
She takes one more step to the door, hesitating to enter the home. She's about the go inside when she heard two voices, arguing. She sighed and quickly ran to the bathroom, not poo and pee but to find silence and peace. Before she leave the bathroom she find her earphones and played some loud music.
She was heading to her room when suddenly her mom grabbed her and pulled the earphones. " You! Every time I see you, you're always wearing this earphones!"
Precious Sighed and said " I'm tired mom, can I get a rest?"
Her mom loose the grip in her hands and Precious headed to her room. As she closed the door of her room she didn't even change her clothes, she just lay down to her bed and put her earphones again... she's now crying silently.
Next morning , everything is just plain, nothing new. After she get dressed, she's about to leave when her mom called her. " Don't be too pressured at school, okay?"
" Mom, I'm not pressured at school actually, I'm stressed, so stressed at this house, It feels so heavy in this house and I'm sorry you need to hear that."
Her mom looks so confused, she grabbed her bag and left.
While on her way to school, she told the the tricycle driver to changed route: to the cathedral.
Saint Claire Cathedral, a place wherein you can feel peace and the steadiness of the place. As she gets closer to the altar her tears started to run through her cheeks. She just ignored it and knelt down, she started crying so hard with no reasons but only with a heavy heart. She cried harder when suddenly a question popped into her mind "Why can't I just die?"
After how many minutes of crying she stopped. She intertwined her fingers so hard and begging God to forgive her soul for not surrendering everything.
Precious just keep saying "Nahihirapan na ko Lord, gusto ko na ng katahimikan" every time she have this heavy feelings.
For over 3 years she's having a hard time forgetting every pain she felt from her Family. Since she was a child she already knew that her Mom and dad are different from any other lovers. They talked, laughed, and quarrel all the time. But I know that they just keep each others company for their children And what makes them different is not having these attachments like emotionally, sexually, financially and many more lly's.
I am the eldest and at the age of 10 I already knew that their relationship cannot change. Even I beg God to bring us back to the past.
It is already 6 pm, after having a lot of realizations she already have the courage to speak up. She arrived at her destination at exactly 6:45 pm. As she step into their house again, everything is quiet, she knew that they already finish their quarrel. That's why after she took a deep breath she called her Mom and Dad to the dining area. She has these random feeling but she need to let it all out before she became insane.
"I was dealing with Depression for over 3 years now(2017), I started to love darkness and silence... and did you know how did everything started? It is because of the both of you. Every time I hear you both quarreling i wanted to end this life of mine, every time there is a small issue both of you will quarrel, again and again and again like nothing changed! Sometimes I have this bright idea, " What if you just have a divorce?" That would be better you know but every time I think of it, I don't want that to happen. I know that if you got divorce, Dad will move out, and I don't want him to get old not having his children by his side. I don't want you separate ways because God knows that if I became successful I have a lot of plans for us. Mom, Dad... I m getting tired to all of this, everything seems to go over and over again."
While Precious is crying from explaining everything, her Mom and Dad was dumbfounded of what she said.
" Mom, I know dad made a big mistake from the past, of not prioritizing you, not supporting you, gambling, Prioritizing his friends and family over you. And I am sorry, because a lot of time, I am blaming my existence. Mom, you deserve someone better...and sis you know that one of my wish is "If one day you'll be reincarnated, I wish you to have a husband who'll love you so much because that is what you deserve." even if I'll not be you daughter, I'll be the happiest."
"Mom, Dad... I'm tired... I want us to be happy. I want seeing the both of you smiling and laughing... that's all."
Precious was about to leave after she confronted her Parents when suddenly her Mom and Dad hugged her from behind.
"I'm sorry anak, I didn't know that your dealing it the most. We love you so much Precious... Were very sorry anak, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry."
After years of pain and distancing from her Parents, She smiled and looked up. Thanking God for giving her the courage to speak up. Finally, she felt the urge to live again because she always believed that to live is the rarest thing in the world... most people just exist.
It is about a girl named Precious who's dealing with her Problems since she was 10 years old and discovering she has mental problems for the last 3 years that started in the year 2017. After having the connection with God, she finally have the courage to speak her heart to her parents.
