Never Meant To Be

Chapter 6

For all future A/Ns, the plague system (The writer) will have the normal plain text and Aliza (our beautiful editor) will have underlined text

A/N I gave Ebony a less severe noise and small movement (not a word or major action) case of Torrette syndrome because I know a lot of people with Tourettes my friend Aliza Hello people has Tourettes and we as a system have tics we just don't know where it falls into as our parents just think it's us trying to get attention, and I as an agender person with Tourettes often see a lot of misrepresentation so I thought it would be cool to write ebony with a less severe case! anyway thank you to Alex, Piper and Lucinda for letting me write this in and I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

Willow paced around our already cramped room messaging her temple. "I just... Ebony y-y-you told me you were getting better." She finally whispered. The disappointment and defeat in her voice sank my heart. "I'm sorry Lo," I muttered. A single tear escaped Willow's eye before she wiped it away and dropped onto her knees next to me. "It's not your fault Eb, can you just call me next time?" She asked as she ran her hands through my mangled black hair. I nodded. I didn't know if I would keep the promise but I hoped that I would. A purple wisp of smoke appeared I watched in wonder as the wisp of smoke turned into a small piece of blood-soaked parchment, I knew the black curly writing all too well. 

Tick Tock Johns time is almost up.

I remember the day I met John well, 

I lay in the fields of green grass and tall trees that made the empire state building look small. My breath was fog in the cool air and my clothing was wet from the dew on the grass. "Isn't it cold down there?" A boy about my age, 7, stood above me. He had white hair and bright blue eyes the colour of the lake near my manor. "Who are you?" I demanded indignantly.  The boy grinned at me. "John... John Draco Seqioun!" He extended his hand his smile growing as I grabbed his hand and I smiled back at him. "I Ebony, Ebony Raven Way-Darkness," I said shyly as I stood up and dusted off my pink dress. "That is a very dramatic name."  He said cheerfully. I nodded and joined in on his infectious grin. "You can call me Eb!" I told him smiling I jolted my head and flicked my finger. "What was that?" John asked. I shrugged. "Mamma calls it an impulse, she tries to get me to stop." I winced. My mamma wasn't a bad person, and I knew why she slapped me, but sometimes it really hurt.

I stood alone in the forest Count Randall Removtdlro wasn't there. 

But John was there, he was tied up to a tree along with Harry. A warning on a tree written in blood.

Soon, Ebony, soon.

 I stormed into my room and closed my door, I hadn't explained to John or Harry why I was so angry, they would know soon enough. I considered digging the razor out of the bin, no matter how disgusting my hands would smell and look. But then I remembered Willow's trusting smiling face. I grabbed my phone and opened up apple music before playing "Hit The Road Jack" The remix by WEI2. I honestly just lay there feeling defeated as the music washed over me, I had failed again. Why did I always fail?

About an hour went by when I looked at my black watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class. It felt like an over energy-consuming activity, that is the very simple art of standing up and dragging yourself to class. I was just too defeated, too tired, to gone to care anymore. I knew what depression felt like, that being constant sadness, but I had always hoped to avoid what so many people called "Being just numb." 

As I walked I saw a 17-year-old man drop to his knees sing a beautiful song in an effort to ask a gorgeous girl, maybe one year older than me, to the school dance. She squealed "OMFG," She yelped after he was finished. "I love you!" She smiled and kissed him, her eyes bright and her smile even brighter. Not me, not that love ever. I reminded myself as I dug my long black nails into my skin. I might have drawn blood, if so I didn't notice. The couple ran happily towards Hogsmede. I knew some really talented students were performing some MCR songs so I shrugged and decided to follow them.

Fuck school.

Fuck the future.

But despite all of those evil thoughts swirling around in my head, I walked stiffly towards the back of the school and texted my professor informing him I was just sick. I got out my phone and the moment I opened the messages app I threw the phone across the grass. I didn't know why I did it, it was like the impulse to cough I had been unconsciously holding it in until I couldn't control it. I sighed my ma used to slap me whenever I did it and it happened a lot more in my childhood. The impulses were small now. I would click my fingers or clap my hand and occasionally make a soft sound like an excited puppy. I could hear two people arguing not too far away from me.

"Wtf Alex I'm not going to a concert with you!" A goth looking girl shouted angrily. "Not after what happened to me last time? Even if it is MCR's music and you know how much I like them" "What cause we...you know..." The guy, a more soft looking boy, still dressed in all black, asks. "Yeah cause we you know!" She yelled in an angry tone. I stood up and moved into the shadows so I wouldn't be caught. I wanted in on this drama. "We won't do that again," the boy... Alex? promised. "This time, we're going with an ESCORT." He said grinning I could almost hear the girl cringing. "OMFG WTF Are you giving into the mainstream?" she asked. "So I guess you are a prep or a Christan or what now?" She yelled at him, she looked genuinely upset and I was doing my best not to laugh and blow my cover. "No," he muttered indignantly and loudly. But the goth girl was determined. "Are you becoming a prep or what?" She shouted angrily her yellow snake eyes blazing. "Akazia! I'm not! Please, come with me!" He fell to his knees and started rattling off what I guessed from what I knew was a love poem in german, being dutch I knew some of the words and understood what he was saying well enough to get an idea. "Ich glaube nicht, dass du es tun wirst Immer ganz verstanden Wie du mein Leben berührt hast Und hat mich zu dem gemacht, was ich bin. Du bist der Hüter meiner Träume, Der Mann, der mein Herz hält, Der, mit dem ich mein Leben verbringen möchte, Derjenige, bei dem ich immer stehen werde. Stehe daneben durch dick und dünn Durch all das Leben wirft uns in den Weg Zu wissen, dass wir diese besondere Liebe teilen Wird uns jeden Tag begleiten. Ich glaube nicht, dass du jemals fühlen könntest All die Liebe, die ich zu geben habe, Und ich bin sicher, du merkst es nie Du warst mein Lebenswille." He finished reciting. I shook my head as the bell rang, the poor guy was a hopeless romantic, it would never work out with her.

I stood up still smiling from the boy's declaration of love and walked back towards Caihi School.

"So you know that fucking poser got expelled. she failed all her classes and she skipped math." Mary's voice drifted down into the common room as I walked up to the dorm I shared with Willow

"It serves her right." Willow mused, I walked into the room to find at least seven different chip packets on the ground. "Wow, this is very clean." I deadpanned as I walked across the room and collapsed on my warm bed. "Oh shut I had a panic attack and your lovely roommate took me home." Mary kissed Willow's forehead and touched her lip, "I'm all OK thanks to Illy." I balled my fists. I had no beef with Mary but nicknames were my thing and Illy was admittedly a better nickname than 'Lo' 

I shook my head and looked at the TV. "What are you watching?" I asked Willow. She shrugged "Dracula, it's better than I thought." Willow said smiling. Mary smiled and snuggled into Willow, "I told you it would be good," Mary laughed. Willow looked a little uncomfortable but smiled. "Because I like a good movie doesn't mean you get to act like you just won a bet." Willow joked like she always joked with me. I massaged my skelp. This was stupid pre-school drama, I wasn't supposed to hoard friends now that I was 16. I sat down next to Willow and Mary and watched as the movie played. I was paying more attention to Mary and Willow. 

A/N that was just fun to write shout out to @BeccaDiAngelo and @Why248 since they actually read this story AND voted it (I think they must be insane since this is a train wreck but thank you my demons) 

I LOVED EDITING THIS AND WRITING IN GERMAN AGAIN IT'S BEEN AWHILE