Chaos of the Multiverse (PJO fanfic)

10. Why does it hurt? Because it's true.

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"Breathe in, try to feel the water around you, breathe out." Currently, Percy and I are sitting on the floor of the forest, meditating. We're actually trying to get Percy in tune with his powers so he is more badass. He's doing amazhangly.

He can manipulate water like a pro, holding up the entire lake for an hour at a time while sitting in the lake-bed. He can also make shapes out of the water, make it into a sphere, oval, and a cube which is harder than the smooth shapes. Split the water, make the edges spikier etc...

We're trying to make the water move to the rhythm of the song but it's still a work in progress. A lot of work, little progress. Well, he's still 5.

Right, that reminds me. It's been two months since I left and I visit every day. I'm hoping for Sally's relationship with me to be encased in duct tape by then. Then I'll be able to go to primary school with Percy when we turn 6.

Yes shocker, I want to go to school. But luckily for me I can stop time and sleep as long as I want. And I'm literally omnipotent. So, I get to be a child genius. It sucks to be you... readers. Yeah, I broke the fourth wall. What are you gonna do about it?

We continue meditating, while I practice holding all the oceans exactly one millimetre above the sea floor. I may be Chaos but since I've added a door in between normal level power and Chaos level power, it's still hard.

I start to sing, not noticing animals flocking to me. I started to sing about pain and betrayal.

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"You gods-damned idiot. You sent an army after a child. Are you so consumed by vengeance that you can't look beyond the fact that she was your brothers child? That you can't see that by doing this you became the same as him." I was currently shouting at Hades. I couldn't change Thalia from becoming a tree but I could take my anger out in him. I had actually helped the lost trio to reach camp but that is a story for another time.

"Uh, excuse me, who do you think you are talking to my husband like that?" Right, Persephone was here. I turned to Hades.

"You didn't tell her about me? You're one of the two gods who has seen me and you didn't tell her about me?"

"You intruded on two Olympian meetings, how am I one of the only two gods who have seen you? And I did tell her but you're literally a child right now." Hades drawled.

"Yes, I did do that but they were being idiots but I was speaking through a loudspeaker thing and looked like a vortex of black holes- wait what?" I looked down and sure enough, I was a child. Thankfully, my hair and eyes had turned a brilliant red in my rage so he would not recognize me. I blushed in embarrassment.

Completely forgetting about Persephone, I shouted "That's not the point! You don't try to kill a child because someone tried to kill your children. Yes, Persephone, he has two demigod children and no he did not break the oath."

I sighed angrily, and dramatically said "I must go now lest I blow up the Earth in my rage." I actually couldn't 'cause I had closed the powers door earlier anticipating being angry, but I still needed to leave, trusting they wouldn't tell anyone of me. And the fact I had Hades under an oath.

I smirked mischievously and turned the whole throne room pink. "Your punishment." I sang as I teleported away. I had added unicorns and rainbows. Best part, it wouldn't go away for a month. Mwahahaha. 

Mission 'Hades', accomplished :D

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A little self-hatred, so if you want to skip this, feel free to do so.

So, I was playing with Percy again. This time, I had invited Multi. WAtEr FiGhT. It was fun. Extremely exhilarating. It always used to be so easy to be with my baby brother. It used to be somewhere I could escape. A safe haven. Just me and my family. Loved ones.

It was so hard to keep on smiling like nothing ever happened. So hard to laugh. It sounded strained even to my own ears, but not to theirs. I would let them stay happy, stay free of my burdens. They should not be brought down because of me.

Oh gods...It hurt so much because it's true. All of it. I helped them because he's Percy Jackson. I created them because Percy Jackson. I wouldn't have done this for anybody else, would I? No, I wouldn't. I did have a ulterior motive, a silly schoolgirl fantasy, a stupid wish of meeting my hero. I loved him, but if I had not read the books, would I have even met him? Probably not.

I didn't know why it weighed so much, but it did. It felt like a crushing weight on my lungs, my throat. It was suffocating me. I wanted to scream my heart out, but I wanted to be silent. I wanted to shout and cry, but I wished that I didn't give a damn. I didn't know what I felt. All I knew was that it hurt. It hurt so much.

But how many had I damned by creating this universe? How many others had hurt?

No, I deserve this pain and I embrace it. It hurt but I knew I had earned it. But they didn't and they shouldn't have to hurt because of me.

So I turned around and smiled like the brightest star. My eyes screamed in agony and a traitorous tear slipped out but nobody noticed. Nobody looked beyond the blinding smile. 

Nobody looked toward my heart.

My broken heart.

My shattered heart.

My scattered heart.

Nobody.