Intro: last day of school before summer: plank headmaster monty (paint his primp and polished office supplies bubblegum pink w my friend group)
Para 1. coming home on the last day of school abd it's pouring it down. And friends come over. We watch a film (undecided ) when the new gardener comes in () all my friends are struck by his looks (especially Dolly who asks if he's like to join since my parents are out all night we're having a party) he declines in order not to get into trouble but I assure him and he's taken by it
Intro draft:
"Shhh shhh okay who's got it?" I whisper
"Got what?" Says Dino
"The paint you twat" I say while slapping him on the shoulder while he giggles
"Are we sure this is a good idea" says Stevie while passing me the big paint brushes
"Oh my god" Dino, Valerie and I say in unison
"Look, we're in it now troopers, it's all for one and one for all. Ten hut" I say while straightening my posture and saluting my eager chums
"Aye aye captain short arse" Dino says with complete and utter seriousness
"Val would yo-" but before I could finish, she had already thrust her pointy elbow into his rib cage
"Fuck you dumb slag" Dino manages to get out while hugging his torso
"I know you want to" Valerie smiles
"Get your assembly faces on lads, it's show time" and with that we all shimmy, rough edged, into Montys catalogue perfect office. Primp and pressed to complete boredom and flatness.
The prank was golden, pure and hard gold. We finished off the last coats and managed to be spot free, apart from Dino, who was that of a toddler with a jar of green pesto.
"You can shower at mine dickhead" I say while he sticks his tongue out at me and I reciprocate the gesture with politeness and grace.
"He's gonna be as red as all of Dolly's detention slips, but hey if it weren't for her, we couldn't of pulled this off" says Val as we walk down to the languages corridor.
"Good thing she's a rule breaking, teacher hating, mischief making, rug and tug classic class clown" I saw when we gather around Mademoiselle Taieb's classroom.
"an if you eva do sat again Miss Dolly, I ill be sure to put you a box an ship you off to Paris" we hear as mademoiselle Taieb opens the squeaky 19th century door.
"I promise mademoiselle, it will never happen again" she claims while batting her long eyelashes innocently as we all start to walk away.
"This school year" she adds and we all pick up the pace and giggle loudly.
Para 1 draft:
I open the front door with desperation as we, soggy as a teabag, pour inside my old beautiful house, that is absolutely not primped and pressed to boredom and flatness. It was warm and welcoming and protecting us from the harsh pelts of the Edinburgh rain and we all dropped like sacks on my large green sofa.
"Jesus Lisa why do you have to live on such a big hill" says Dino
"It's actually pronounced 'hey Zeus', David" stevie says, unimpressed.
"It's actually pronounced 'die no', Stephan" Dino replies defensively but with no actual offence
"Point made, ...David" stevie smirks
"Why you little shit-" Dino says while leaping at stevie
"Hey for fuck sake guys watch that lamp it was my grandmas!" I say half furious, half exhausted.
"Wanker shit head" stevie says, which is a rare occasion to hear him swear, and pushes Dino back to the other side of the sofa and his head hits my late grandmothers lamp. We all watch, it falling too quickly to register any emotion or words, but there was no crash, smash or thrash. Dead silence.
"You should probably be more careful with this, it looks fancy" says a tall muscular, completely drenched man with long sopping wet hair. He was holding the lamp with one hand.
"Who are you and what are you doing here" I say while stumbling to my feet, trying to make myself more intimidating.
"Gardener" he shrugs while putting the lamp down and going back outside looking aloof.
"Oh my fuck he is so keesh" Dolly says in awe. We all turn to face her in confused agreement.
"Keesh?" Stevie says completely befuddled that he did not know this word, or more so it's meaning.
"Is that another one of your 'dolly and her dictionary of wonders' words?" Valerie questions, even though we all know the answer is yes.
"Keesh, kee-sh, is word meaning attractive, beautiful or aesthetically pleasing to the eye, invented and popularised by Dolly Buffon in 1993" Dolly says as if this word really was in the Oxford dictionary.
"Popularised? haha fat chance" I say with love in my heart and eyes.
"It's a working progress, granted but I really think it will take off" she says in fully believed disagreement.
"Right well all the luck to you dolls, now shall we watch Apollo 13? It came out last year" Val says excitedly. She had not shut up about this film since it's announcement, but Valerie does want to be a filmmaker after all.
"Best thing you've said all day, Val" says Dino in a condescending tone with a smile.
"Shut up, virgin" she says, beaming at him.
