Moving On

Struggles

 The night was hot, he tossed and turned in his bed, but it wasn't the heat causing him to sleep restlessly, it was another nightmare. He sat up quickly, biting his bottom lip to stop a scream from escaping, he didn't realize how hard he was biting his lip, until he tasted blood. He rubbed his hands over his face and up through his hair realizing he was covered in a thin sheen of sweat. He looked beside him and saw he hadn't woken his boyfriend, he smiled at his still sleeping lover before he quietly and carefully got out of bed and headed for the bathroom, taking off his damp tank top as he did. He went into the bathroom turning the light on as he shut the door quietly behind him. He went to the sink and looked in the mirror sighing at his tired reflection, before he turned the water on and began splashing water on his face. He thought back to his nightmare, it always involved him or his two loved ones dying at the hands of the same man, no matter what he did. This time it had been his loved ones who were killed, he had tried to stop the man, but he had killed them anyway. He shivered a little at the thought of seeing them die, his thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door, he dried his face before he opened the door to find his half asleep boyfriend standing there.

 "What are you doing up?" He asked smiling, as his boyfriend hugged him.

 "I woke up and you weren't there." His boyfriend answered yawning.

 "I was just in the bathroom baby boy."  He said smiling as he kissed his head. "Come on Seth, let's go back to bed."

 "You okay babe? You were mumbling in your sleep again." Seth asked.

 "Yeah, I'm fine." He answered with a fake smile, as they got back into bed.

 "I love you Dean." Seth said cuddling up to Dean, laying his head on Dean's chest.

 "I love you too Seth. Night baby boy." Dean said kissing his head again.

 "Night D."

 Dean lay in the dark holding Seth close, listening to his soft snores. He wished he could sleep too, but like every other time he had a nightmare sleep refused to return. Of course he kept his nightmares to himself, not wanting to worry his best friends and stablemates in The Shield; Seth and their brother Roman Reigns. He had put them through so much already, and he refused to put them through anymore. He kissed Seth's head and sighed, he was exhausted all the time now and he wasn't sure how much more he could take. He needed to think of something, and he needed to figure it out soon before someone got hurt because of him.

**Days Later**:

 The days past and Dean continued keeping his struggle secret from Seth and Roman. He knew he should tell them, after all they've been through and the pact they made to not keep secrets from each other, but he couldn't burden his brothers anymore. So, he lived his life pretending he was fine; acting and talking like the same Dean Ambrose everyone knew, when truthfully he was so lost and broken inside he didn't even recognize himself anymore. The guilt he carried from the past stayed with him all the time, he had been the reason Seth and Roman had been hurt. He knew his brothers didn't blame him; they never have, but that didn't stop or take away the guilt. Not only did he have to deal with Seth and Roman constantly checking on him, asking if he's okay, he had to deal with it from other WWE Superstars and Divas as well. Almost a year later and everyone acts like it just happened, all of that plus the guilt and nightmares were slowly driving Dean insane!

 Seth and Roman were struggling to move on too, they had watched helplessly as King almost killed Dean twice! The difference though was they both talked about it, they got help to cope and were able to move on. Dean though refused to talk about anything King related, and they were worried about him. It wasn't like they didn't try; they did, they had been since first finding out about King, but Dean continued shutting them out. Seth knew Dean was having trouble sleeping, he'd wake up at night sometimes and hear Dean mumbling in his sleep, or sometimes when he'd wake Dean wouldn't be in bed. Seth and Roman were both scared that when Dean finally let go, he'd do something stupid!

 One night after Raw the three of them were in their locker room changing, Dean was in the shower; Seth and Roman had already showered and changed. Roman looked at Seth who was busy packing his bag, he was worried about both his little brothers, Dean and Seth had been quiet all night.

 "Seth, you okay man?" Roman asked.

 "It's Dean." Seth answered frustrated as he gave up on his bag and sat beside Roman. "We had a fight."

 "Another one?" Roman asked shocked, it was the third one this week. "About what?"

 "Guess." Seth answered sighing, as he rubbed his hands over his face.

 "King."

 "Yep. Ro, I'm scared man! He won't talk to us, he completely shuts down! What if he does something stupid?"

 "I know you're worried Seth, I' am too. We've tried talking to him, but he's just not ready." Roman said sighing frustrated.

 "So, we wait for him to come to us." Seth stated sighing.

 "Yep."

 "Awesome!" Seth said sarcastically, as he got up and finished packing.

TBC...