thoughts at midnight for when I have nothing better to do

watch me regret this

Y'all know that feeling when you were seven and your guardian/parent/parents would call you for dinner but the food wasn't done so your only option was to set the table or fake a nap-

I didn't even do that, I just stood there🧍 looking like a lego until I got yelled at to do something 💀

While I'm sitting here, on my bed, the crickets screeching at the top of their lungs, I couldn't help but think of my angelic neighbor.

For whatever reason, they had a pocket knife on hand. With this pocket knife, they were helping someone out by cutting something they needed to get cut. They then proceed to lightly scratch their eyebrow with the pocket knife. (They were fine) I just remember staring at them.

"..did you just...?"

"..yeah... Probably not the smartest thing I've done."
They look off to the distance and slowly pocket the pocket knife.

Why did it take me so long to realize how ✨I✨C✨O✨N✨I✨C✨ this moment was for me? I just appreciate that they did it so smoothly and carelessly without getting hurt. I would've lost an eye from attempting such beauty 💀💀💀

Dance with me. You made it this far, haven't you? A little dance won't do any harm.

I'll go first. I'll strike✨ a pose 💃

💃✨💃✨💃✨💃✨💃

I know. I'm basically a professional dancer. I can see why you're ✨absolutely✨ speechless

You should 💃strike💃a💃pose💃 show me those ✨moves✨

...

✨stunning✨ I am utterly ✨wowed✨
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

All for you, boo 🏆🏅🥇🎖✨🎉🎊

Do you want a 🔥💃spicy💃🔥 song? Or do you want a chill dance?

We could do spicy, do a little....
🦗🦟🦗🦟🦗🦟🦗🦟🦗
🐬🐋🐬🐋🐬🐋🐬🐋🐬
🤸💃🤸💃🤸💃🤸💃🤸
Sorry lol, I'm dying-

We could do a chill song. You do a gentle ✨step✨ then we could 💃glide💃
Or we could do another ✨step✨ then the 👏glide👏 or if you're too tired (please I just want to close my eyes. Even then, I wouldn't get any sleep so it hardly matters.) We could sit down and imagine ourselves getting heavy.

Our limbs start slowly growing plants tha0t are healthy and springy. These plants are intertwining with the ground, ever so slowly. Soon your eyelids start to feel heavy.

Right now, you are in a space where nothing matters. It doesn't matter who you are when you are near me in this area. You are loved and cared about and there a nothing wrong with you in any aspect.

Scars? Those are representations of how strong you are. What you've been throughn and how you've managed to build past it to become the beautiful self no one deserves.

Weight? Did you know, that my bed is most likely heavier than your body mass? If you think weight is a problem, you are wrong. Do you think you're chubby or have too much blubber? Honey, my whole purpose of life revolves around thick thighs. Heaven is people who have chub.

Hair? I have it too. It's ✨normal✨ and it shows that you are more likely to be a human rather than a skin sack filled to the brim with frogs.

Acne? My g, I hate to break it to you, but I can't even see your face. I look like a dumpster but no one on here has complained to me about it because ✨they are blinded by the lights✨ besides, you are truly beautiful. Beauty is beyond what you look like. Beauty is being strong enough to accept people for who they are and still love them.

It is easier to hate rather than love and care. If you are beautiful enough to love someone, regardless of who they are, genuinely, they should consider worshiping you because I'm incredibly insecure and lonely and I just want someone who doesn't care when I do something that I deeply regret.

Beauty is having a contagious laugh. Beauty is strength in any form. Beauty is having a passion. Beauty is being alive. What a wonderous, awful thing.

Eye bags? Like I said^^ I don't care. Accept the fact that you are beautiful and get some sleep for the love of all that is holy. Insomnia? Please find a cuddle partner or something the helps you get to sleep. I just want you to be comfortable and happy. It's often hard to find something that satisfies. I'm looking for satisfaction. I find it in making others feel okay at least.

You are very dear to me and humanity is trashy enough, I think we need a break at least once or twice.

Get comfortable. Spread out. Breathe.

It feels nice, doesn't it?

Words.

Picture yourself where you want to be.

I see myself in a field of tall grass, the sky a platinum color with a light breeze.

We are connected to the earth. Spinning in the middle of space.

We feel heavy and we become one with the surroundings.

There are comforting buzzes of feelings brushing down your back, through your legs to your feet, and tickling your face.

Something smothers you with warmth and love as it cleanses you.

You feel yourself dissolving in this, being brought back to the grass.

You are the grass.

There is nothing but pure satisfaction running through you as your thoughts become tangled.

There is silence. And sleep. And love.

When is there not?

Too many times.

I can say.

Too many times.