I will always love you

1

Dear diary,

Tae has been really distant with me recently and I dont want it to happen again. He's been working alot, which I worry about, I know he's a CEO and that he has work. But he'd always make time for me. I trust him more than myself but I'm scared, it might be worse than before.

I might be complaining a little too soon but I'm just feeling lonely, and it has been quite a while, that he has been ignoring me. I think I'm overthinking but I cant can't help my hopeless self. And I know that we are nothing but boyfriend and girlfriend, nothing more than that, but I still do have a name to be tagged with.

Anyways I guess I'm just not trusting him enough, and I know I should trust him.

Love,
Jennie

After I wrote down my feelings which I've lately on been expressing to my diary. I went down to cook dinner for Tae. He might've already ate but I should do my duties. He might get happy.

I started cooking the dishes he might be craving. I cooked him his favorite japchae with alot of meat. I didn't cook japchae for a long while and it's his fav, anything for him.

Cooking for him brought back alot of memories, sometimes when I'd cook he'd come and back hug me which I absolutely love. He would also come and help me cook which will most like ruin everything. When we first got together, he back hugged me while I was cooking and I felt terrorized that the whole pan of pancake batter had fell. It was hilarious but lovely. All these memories suddenly rushed to me and I just realized that I miss him so much.

Dinner was ready and I set it up on the table and checked the time. It was already 8 but lately he comes home later and by the time he comes home,I'm already asleep in the couch. But today I'll stay awake and try talking to him.

It's 10 and I just fiddled with my phone, checking Tae and my pictures. At first I didnt really care about clicking pictures and to be honest I was shy to ask for a picture but later Tae suggested we click pictures for memories. So that we could show it to our kids... he always imagines these kinda stuff and tells me how big he'd want our wedding cake would be. He's always been a crazy boy.

He and I are complete opposites and yet we got together so well. He was always smiley and childish but obviously as he grew he did change. One thing we had in common ever since was that, we never gave a shit about people who were obviously shit and annoying. It creeped us both.

A while later I heard the door knob so I went to check. And I saw Tae quietly come in and check the hall. When he saw me, he slowly raised his eyebrows.

"You're early today" I said with a smile and I was hoping for a smile back too.

"Yeah, I'm tired so please don't talk right now" I didn't expect him to be rude because he never is, but I let it go for now.

"Ohh, okay I wont ask you anything, but I made dinner please have it while I get your bath ready" it's alright that he isn't in his best mood, I can handle it.

"I ate already" he informed me looking at his phone, not sparing me any glance. And I really wanted to ask him, why he's been ignoring me or why is he acting the way he is right now. But all that could wait cause he's tired and isn't in a really good mood.

"that's okay, just tell me what you want for breakfast" I just want to make sure he eats, he's been working all day and I just dont want to be a lazy girlfriend.

"Jennie, I don't reallly care" my attempts failed and I feel hurt, I don't know why he has been acting like this and it really saddens me. I just want to rip his heart open and know what did I do wrong.

"Alright, I'll get your bath ready" I just quickly went upstairs to our room. Tears could have fallen if I was just a random girl who had many emotions but not a single tear fell. Sometimes I'd get annoyed at how stoic I was. But when it came to Tae my emotion were a little more expressive and right now I wanted it to remain stoic.

I got his bath ready and came out to the room but Tae had already changed and had fallen asleep. You really don't wanna talk to me?

"You're gonna smell bad if you sleep like that" I told as I looked at his sleeping figure. He looked cute and tired. And then once again I told myself he's just tired and needs some rest.

As I was about to get to bed my phone rang.

'Hello'

'Yes, what time is the shoot?'

'Oh okay, just send the address '

I have a shoot tomorrow at around 11am. It's been a while and I guess it's a good idea to step out of the house cause it's been a little toxic.

I lay in bed and turn the opposite side. But I was brought into a hug by a large pair of arms. I squealed, it had been so long since he hugged me and I could say I was the happiest person in the world.

And again I reminded myself he was just tired, he still loved you.