She doesn't need to fall asleep. All she needs is her imagination that will cause a big impact on her life. How will she live, knowing he is not hers, with their love story only existing in her mind?
Min Yoongi.
she sits on her bed, laptop in front of her, thinking of what she should type. 'rewrite the stars' begin to play from her laptop. it was late, 1am to be exact. she was supposed to be sleeping. she isn't supposed to be on this laptop, for she was only using it without her mother's permission.
she begins to imagine a male beside her. a pale, good looking male back-hugging her with his chin on her left shoulder. she cries while trying to write.
she does not know what to do.
"im not supposed to imagine you, rather, us like this yoongi.." she says looking at the male behind her.
he pecks her cheeks and lets go of his hold on her.
"you dont want to stop though.." he says with a sad smile on his face.
she continues to cry as she looks back on her laptop, 'another love' now playing. she stops typing.
"why, why me? i shouldnt have become interested in you and your group! im getting myself hurt. its my fault for falling for someone who doesnt know i exist! its my fault for imagining that we are together! im degrading myself by imagining us. me having a whole new family i want, friends i want to have, the whole music industry being my friends and me being a singer when im not even doing anything to help make it come true!"
"i cant help but to imagine us holding hands, being caught on camera while hugging, being on variety shows together. you are the only one who made me feel like this! please. i want to stop. i cant stop. i want to let you go. i hate myself for thinking of you like this. i hate myself for even imagining us like this! society will never accept this, if it were real. im nothing. and yet you, a person who doesnt know me, fills my lonely life with colors."
"please. i want to stop. i dont want to imagine fake things like this anymore. im delusional. im stupid. im nothing. im useless. im never going to be loved by people who i want. im not pretty. im not your type. im not what i want to be. im never going to be what i want since im not doing anything to reach it. even if i did, there are more people who deserve the title more than me."
she turns to look at him holding his big hands. she cries and leans her head on his shoulder, making sure she leans on his right one.
"please make it stop." she sobs even further.
"dont you want to continue this? youre much happier with this?" he says as he strokes her hair.
"god you wouldnt even say that in real life! you dont even speak english like this!" she says, hitting his chest over and over again.
"im hurting myself." she says as she looks up to see his handsome face.
his cat-like eyes.
his button nose.
his gummy smile.
his sparkling eyes.
his skin, that even without make-up, is beautiful.
"i want to let it go. i can find my true love someday right? i can find someone who will love my imperfection and flaws like i imagined what you will do right? im not going to cry when you finally find someone right? i-"
he kisses her. she pushes him away.
"please stop this min yoongi. it hurts"
"okay, please let me go now." he says while smiling at her.
a girl who is now willing to let him go from her imagination.
a girl who is strong enough to move on.
a girl who is going to accept her flaws in the future.
a girl who he doesnt know in real life but is happy, now that shes ready to face the end of magic shop.
a girl who will soon find someone who can love her, like how she loved him.
"yoongi.. i will let you go now, okay?" she says as she slowly moves away from him and stands up.
she looks around her room and closes her eyes, imagining them in a beautiful tall tower. with stars painting the sky. the street lights glowing from underneath them. 'say you wont let go' plays in the backround.
"goodbye, min yoongi. my first love who didnt know me.." she laughs a bit.
he stands up from the chair, looking up at the moon for a while and starts to walk towards her.
'talking to the moon' begins to play as he says,
"thank you, you are a strong girl, i know its hard to face it. im sorry. i hope you find your forever with someone who truly loves and knows you. i love you, but in a way in which i love all my fans-" he stops to wipe her flowing tears. "i know this isnt easy, heck, with 7 gorgeous men, how can you? but i know that everything has an end. even for you, even for me. thank you for loving us, thank you for your support, and thank you, for letting me go."
he says as he and the backround slowly fade away.
"i love you min yoongi"
"i love you too, angel"
she opens her eyes to see her on her bed. her laptop in front of her. it was now 2am. she was still writing the end of her love story. she never liked sad endings. but in order to move on, she needed to let him go. she sets the laptop aside. she lies on her bed comfortably. she looks at her room's white painted wall. 'photograph' was now playing.
' I will remember how you kissed me
Under the lamppost
Back on 6th street
Hearing you whisper through the phone
"Wait for me to come home" '
"thank you min yoongi and bangtan. i have now reached the end of my magic shop."
